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The Strength of Coming Out
| The Strength of Coming Out |
By Rick Wold
We all laughed when we saw Arnold hiding in the closet in the opening scene of Torch Song Trilogy. Probably because it is easiest to laugh at something that one can actually related to. Not that we are all cross-dressers, but many of us have spent time "in the closet."
Growing up gay, one of the many things we learn to do is to shelter ourselves. Inside our own closets we know we are gay, but if we can keep the door closed, maybe like the old polyester shirts from the seventies, nobody else will know what is in the back of our own personal closets. The seventies attire is happy to stay in the back of the closet until the next costume party, but our gay identity is more like the monsters in Milo's "anxiety closet." They are always trying to come out and we try to push them back in, denying their existence.
The gay community can be invisible as well, hiding in its own closet. When we get together we be "out" we go to gay bars, gay resorts, gay social events. We are still isolating ourselves by putting ourselves in a larger closet.
The key to coming out is acceptance. That acceptance needs to start within ourselves. With acceptance the closet door can be left ajar. Not everyone will see in (nor should they), but the monsters of the "anxiety closet" are less of a threat if they are faced realistically. Once we have learned to accept ourselves, we need to make sure others accept us as well. So invite your straight friends over for dinner with you and your significant other. Drag them along to a party, make sure you bring a date when you go our. The more visible we are, the more people will accept us.