 |
|
Dear Mr. Lucas:
Okay, I've experienced the hype, I've been to the damned movie, and while you're now $7.75 richer, I must say I'm somewhat disappointed. The special effects were very impressive, and I never get tired of viewing your latest computer-generated critters, but there's something missing here. I think it's high time that you bring some much-needed balance to the Force.
With four movies down, and two to go, I have yet to see any African-American with anything more than a cameo role. We have Lando, a double-crosser of dubious morals who sells out his best friend to the Empire; Mace Windu, who has a total of five lines in Episode I; and Captain Panaka who...well, let's just say there's a fine line between guarding Queen Amidala and driving Miss Daisy. We've had two major female characters. Leia started off well enough in the 1970s, but by Return of the Jedi she was mostly lounging around in a titanium bikini and swooning over Han Solo. Amidala, with her endless frou-frou wardrobe and her already-obvious cradle-robbing tendencies, I'm not even going to discuss. The few fleeting glimpses of female fighter pilots in Episode I were nice, but other than these folks, virtually everyone in the series who is not white, male, and overtly heterosexual is either furry, slimy, or battery-operated. Among our humanoid population, there's just not a lot of diversity.
Now, the parallels to World War II, which have always been implicit in the Star Wars movies, are all the more obvious now that we've all had a glimpse of the pre-Empire days. The Old Republic is a rough equivalent of the Weimar Republic, the hopelessly ineffective regime that controlled Germany from 1918 to 1933. The Empire is, of course, the unabashedly evil and fortunately short-lived Third Reich. And Palpatine, the ambitious senator who connives his way into the position of Chancellor and then establishes himself as dictator for life, only to be betrayed by one of his top lieutenants and to die a mysterious death, might as well be named Adolf.
So let's complete the parallels. The Nazis set out to exterminate Jews, gays, Gypsies, left-wing intellectuals, and basically anyone else who didn't fit the image of a blond-haired, blue-eyed Aryan robot. That's what made them so evil - their terrifying dreams of utter homogeneity. If you want Palpatine's Empire to appear truly evil, you really should import this characteristic of the Third Reich.
And conversely, the Old Republic needs to be portrayed, for all its ineffectiveness, as a tolerant and generally well intentioned government. After all, the Weimar Republic was such an entity, from what I've read about it, with considerable freedom of expression and a bustling gay nightlife in Berlin. You need to send the message that some governmental ineffectiveness is an unavoidable byproduct of democracy, and a small price to pay for freedom and equality. The Old Republic, and the Jedi Order, both need to be painted as organizations that encouraged tolerance and diversity.
And that is why, George, we must have Queer Jedi. I know, I know, you're already worried about your sponsors pulling out.
Plus, these are, after all, children's movies, and pulling off the conception of Luke and Leia is going to be pushing the envelope as it is. But I think you can pull this off as well. Here's how.
First, the woman character I'm thinking of doesn't have to manifest an obvious sexual interest in women - I just want to see one strong female who is not completely obsessed with or dependent upon men. And I'm not talking about some Yoda clone with a fake-looking wig sitting on her ass in the Jedi Council chambers, either. I'm talking about a shit-kicking, ball-busting, saber-swinging Jedi Bitch from Hell. And we only need her on the screen for about 10 minutes. Picture this: Obi-Wan sets up a sparring match between this woman (let's call her "Lesbi-Wan") and his protege, Anakin. Anakin makes some sexist comment or is otherwise acting generally cocky, so Lesbi-Wan spends the next 10 minutes parrying his thrusts and generally kicking his adolescent ass.
Lucy Lawless would be the most obvious casting choice for such a role, but there are certainly a number of other possibilities. I'm thinking Linda Hamilton, Sigourney Weaver, that hot babe from The Matrix (you know..."Trinity?")...or better yet, Michelle Yeoh, the kung fu master from that James Bond flick (ooh, a real live Asian person in a Star Wars movie - what a concept).
Now, the Queer Jedi boys I'm thinking of probably need to be a little more overt, because your gay male Jedis are not going to stereotypically run around arranging floral patterns and telling Queen Amidala that she looks fabulous. I want big, buff, manly men whose warrior companions just happen to be their lovers - something in the ancient Greek or Babylonian traditions. And all we need is a fleeting glimpse of these guys - nothing sexual, no spoken lines, just a brief shot of an arm around a waist or shoulder, or a loving pat on the face. Just enough to tell the audience that Don-Wan loves Steve-Gon Jinn, and hey, that's just fine with the Jedi Council as long as they do their jobs.
Transgenderism raises such a plethora of possibilities that I'm surprised you haven't already thought of it. In your never-ending quest to create new, eye-popping life forms, why have you never thought of creating a being who can change hir gender at will? Think of it: a whole planet, an entire race of people who have no prescribed gender roles whatsoever, who live and love however they like and act either masculine or feminine according to their whims? How cool would that be?
Is this too much to ask of you, George? Am I unfair to import '90s concepts of political correctness and impose them on a culture that, after all, existed a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away? I don't think so. The bottom line for me is, if the Old Republic and the Jedi DON'T stand for tolerance and diversity, I just don't understand what makes them so much better than the Sith Lords and the Empire. If the Jedi are only a bunch of testosterone-charged white males doing their "guy thing," what is really the big difference between the Light Side and the Dark Side? And if the Old Republic was just as oppressive and dismissive of women and minorities as anything Palpatine can dish out, then let it get destroyed by the Empire. I give a shit.
I know you'll probably never read this, George, and since we Queers are such a small minority, I doubt you'll ever see a need to make us feel more included in your galactic dynasty. But maybe one day you'll realize that tolerance of Queers is about more than gay rights, or God forbid, the gay "agenda." Teaching children tolerance of people different from themselves would be a worthwhile goal easily accomplished through these movies, through the teachings of the Jedi - and it is a goal I think you would find more satisfying, in the long run, than the goal of lining your own coffers with cash. I can't expect that you will one day see things my way, but I can always hope.
