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Editor:
Although I realize times do change, as a guidance counselor in a public high school and as a member of the board of OUTRIGHT, VT (an agency that serves GLBTQA youth), I cannot imagine a world with room in it for a consensual sexual relationship between men and boys. We currently live in a society that considers sexual contact between adults and minors as harmful and illegal. Whether or not that expectation is fair or just is not at stake here. What is at issue is that we have constructed a cultural norm that tells young people that sexual contact between adults and minors is wrong. Sexual contact between any adult and child or young person is not only taboo in our culture, it breaks the law.
When we look at this issue from the perspective of power balance in relationships, an equal and consensual sexual relationship between a man and a boy is impossible. Children and teens can be vulnerable to attention from adults due to any variety of circumstances in their lives over which they have no choice or control. These can include the loss of a parent; a separated, divorced, alcoholic, or an absent parent; or a history of childhood physical or sexual abuse. Additionally, teens who "come out" may experience rejection from their family of origin. Because there are so few adult role models for GLBT youth, those adults who are in this position play an especially critical role. Studies also indicate that homelessness and higher suicide rates exist for these youth. These young people are at risk already. These factors among others can preclude the option of a 'real' choice of a consensual sexual relationship between any young person and an adult. A consensual and mutual relationship requires an equal balance of power, an equal role in choosing the partner and a similar set of life experiences from which to make this decision.
While writing this, I recognize that various constituencies in our community (such as people who are bisexual, transgendered people and people of color) have experienced rejection, alienation or invisibility, not only from mainstream society, but even from within the GLBT community one would expect to be inclusive of diversity issues. While holding this awareness, coupled with many years of experience working with adolescents, it behooves me to say to NAMBLA, "There is no place for you at our table."
Karen R. Grace
