Travel
Montreal's Gay Village
Montreal's
Gay Village
by Ernie McLeod with Kevin Moss
Lovely as it is to be a Vermonter in these optimistic civil union days, one occasionally requires an urban reprieve from our bucolic Green Mountains: someplace with asphalt and trash and people and activities to keep you up way past your bedtime. Burlington doesn’t cut it; New York’s a little too far and a lot too expensive; Boston’s gay pleasures are scattered, and it’s got that puritanical thing going on. Which leaves Montreal as the first and last choice for big-city decadence.
Though its exotic European aura can make it seem out of reach, Montreal is actually amazingly close, especially for those of us in the northern half of the state. A friend of ours lived in Vermont for years without making a single sojourn. Once he broke the ice, he began going so regularly that he needs his own lane at the border. Speaking of which, you know you’re not in Vermont anymore the moment you cross it: mountains vanish, speed limits soar (oops, those are km/h, not mph), the architecture acquires that certain “je ne sais (quebe)quoi.” By the time you reach the Coke man clutching his wiener, the excitement is palpable.
First order of business upon reaching the metropolis: a quick hotel room makeover (off with the L.L. Bean and Birkenstocks, on with the lipstick and hair gel!). But which hotel? Assuming you want to spend most of your time amid les queers, choose one of the options in or near “Le Village,” Montreal’s compact gay neighborhood centered along Ste-Catherine Street from St-Hubert to Papineau.
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photo by Ernie McLeod
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Hôtel Gouverneur Place Dupuis, at the western gateway of Le Village, provides bland but plush anonymity and fab city views from its upper-floor rooms. A block down, just off Ste-Catherine, is the less plush but more affordable Le Saint-André. No fab views here, but it’s decent and they usually have vacancies.
If you’re desiring something more cozy, with the possibility of frolicking with other guests, try a B&B instead. We often stay at La Conciergerie Guest House, a few blocks down St-Hubert from Ste-Catherine. It’s professionally run by the scantily clad clones Luc and Michael, and the rooms are nice without being fussy. Their two golden labs like to be petted, as do occasional guests in the four-person jacuzzi.
The conveniently located Le Saint-Christophe is even cozier, a bit too cozy for our tastes, with its no-surface-left-unkitsched decor and the personable but somewhat obtrusive host. Unless you relish overhearing the political and sexual proclivities of fellow guests first thing in the a.m., beware of the room adjacent to the breakfast area. The contortionists-only toilet is no fun either. The side-lolling tongue of the host’s dog amused us ceaselessly, however.
A comfortable alternative is the nearby Le Chasseur; here, the host has charmingly minimal English, and there’s less worry about destroying a treasure trove of trinkets with an extravagant gesture. Being male, we haven’t experienced firsthand Lindsey’s B&B for Women on Laval, but it looks pleasant in advertisements.
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photo by Ernie McLeod
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The best way to familiarize yourself with Le Village is to slip on your funkiest walkin’ shoes and hit Ste-Cathy’s sidewalks. Start at St-Hubert and gradually work yourself down to Papineau. If you need a jolt to get going, stop in at Presse or another such café for a tiny espresso and gargantuan gâteau. You can peruse the gay papers while you cruise the passers-by. If it’s warm and sunny, you’re apt to spend more time cruising than perusing. (We actually read rants in one newspaper bemoaning the lack of good-looking boys in Montreal, prompting a sane person to ask if these observers were on crack).
Shopping on a sugar buzz can be dangerous, but Canada’s exchange rate is much in our favor, and like the perpetual “Festival du Homard” in the restaurants, there’s always sales on at the clothing and accessories-for-home-and-body stores. For gifts you’re unlikely to want to demonstrate at border patrol (except perhaps in sordid fantasies), peek in at Priape after admiring their eye-catching window display; or browse Wega Video for “art” films to spice up a dull evening back home.
To refuel after that gâteau has worn off, there are a number of open-to-the-sidewalk (weather permitting) lunch spots from which to choose. Ma–ana has reasonable Mexican snacks. The popular Saloon has food perfect for nursing a hangover, while the more refined Resto Bisous offers excellent mussels to accompany the human variety parading past.
After a siesta back at the hotel, it’s time for the evening makeover. No easy feat for us, since our restaurant and bar haunts usually suggest quite opposite attires. How often we’ve wound up at Stud bearing no trace of denim or leather! Once – it pains me to recall – I made my entrance in a sweater vest. But back to dinner: Le Village doesn’t have the best restaurants in the city, but there are a few dependable options. For solid Italian food served beneath flattering lighting by a comely waitstaff (the customers ain’t bad either), try Piccolo Diavolo. Tastefully decorated Batä Thaï is where we usually end up for Asian food, though there are a number of inexpensive Vietnamese choices as well.
When dinner’s over and you’re hardly ready to call it a night, more decisions are required. Women have it simpler than men because, surprise surprise, men-only outnumber women-only establishments. There are a bunch of mixed bars, however, catering to a variety of tastes. Sky, for instance, is a see-and-be-seen complex with theme nights like Les Mardis Martini, RollerDrag, and Glamsterdam.
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photo by Ernie McLeod
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Sisters, above Saloon, is for women, while L’aigle Noir caters to men with butch tendencies. Which brings me back to Stud, my personalfavorite for dancing or just hanging out. The identical depilated poseurs tend to avoid Stud, one reason to like it. Another is the fact that various age groups and sanity levels are on display, adding a sexy anything-goes vibe to the low-lit rooms.
If identical poseurs are your game, Unity’s the name. Revisiting this colossal space was a nostalgic experience for me since, 10 years ago, it (under a different name) was the first gay club I’d ever been in. I was equally spellbound this time, though for different reasons. We went on a Thursday, which is, apparently, Sushi Night. Additionally, they were holding a Kansas Wrap Party. From our mezzanine perch, we had a view through the fog and lasers to the pumped-up masses on dance floor. What to our wondering eyes should next appear but gyrating go-go boys in rice paddy hats, followed by Dorothy from Kansas and a stream of models doing cartwheels in their underwear. Quite a spectacle, though the link between sushi and the Wizard of Oz remains unresolved.
Pour nous, a trip to Montreal isn’t complete without a stop at Campus, the slickest of Le Village’s several strip clubs. The hairless muscle lads aren’t our type, but something about watching a boy struggle to step out of his step-ins – damn those Doc Martens! – while keeping time to a sentimental love ballad touches me deeply. Okay, not deeply, but surface touches (the Canadian Supreme Court said so) are allowed in the “table-dance” room. When the weather sucks, it’s fun to go on a strip blitz, comparing Campus to its tackier cousins Taboo, Adonis, and Stock Club.
For those seeking surface touches (and more) with non-professionals, Montreal has enough saunas to keep you shrouded in steam till you come home to the cows. Within Le Village, Oasis is arguably the best: clean, and packed on weekends with a generally attractive crowd. Limit your Jacuzzi time, or you’ll feel like a candidate for the Festival du Homard. St-Marc has a sleazy reputation, which could be an attraction or detraction depending on your viewpoint. A newer arrival, Le Millénium Écono-Spa, is indeed economical and compact, encouraging efficient horniness.
Montreal has – bien sûr! – many attractions beyond Le Village, but these must wait for another day. There are also gay événements throughout the year, including circuit parties, a gay & lesbian film fest, and the upcoming Divers/Cité (July 31-August 6) which concludes with Montreal’s Pride Parade. We’ve provided a starter list of resources; check them out and head for the border tout de suite!
Ernie McLeod and Kevin Moss live in Middlebury.
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GENERAL INFORMATION Official
Tourist Information Canadian
GLB Resource Directory - Montreal Columbia
Fun Maps - Montreal Fugues
- Quebec's Gay & Lesbian Magazine Montreal
Mirror Newspaper |
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ACCOMMODATIONS La
Conciergerie Guest House Le
Chasseur Bed & Breakfast Le
St-Christophe Guest House Linsey's
B&B for Women Le
Saint-Andre Hotel Hotel
Gouverneur Place Dupuis |