Mr Les B. Frank

Your Guidance Counselor for Life

Hey Mr. Frank,

I’ve never liked to have my balls licked — weird, I know, but it tickles in a way that’s not pleasurable. My new boyfriend says that I just haven’t had them licked right and he always wants to do it. I don’t like it. Not from him and not from anybody. How can I get him to stop?

Signed,

No Licking Allowed
Middlebury, VT

Dear No Lick,

Tell him to stop. Explain that it has nothing to do with his skill and that he should stop seeing it as a challenge to be the one who opens your eyes to the pleasures of a saliva-soaked sack. Would he welcome a woman’s incessant efforts to sleep with him so he would realize the thrills of heterosexual sex?

Some things just don’t feel good for some people. I have always hated having my ears licked. It makes me shake my head like a dog. Yet, some boyfriends and tricks have continued to lick away, even after I hinted that I wasn’t enjoying it. It took me telling them, “Get your tongue out of my ear and keep it out” for them to get the message.

Be clear. Tell your new boyfriend to put his tongue to better use elsewhere.

*****

Hey Mr. Frank,

I’ve been dating this amazing woman for about four months and I think I’m in love. I’m not sure she feels the same way. How can I be sure?

Signed,

Waiting for Guidance
Brattleboro, VT

Dear Waiting,

Pass her a note, during study hall, that says, “Do you love me?” with two boxes — yes or no. She can check the one that indicates how she feels and give the note back to you on her way to the library.

I’m kidding.

Stop waiting! Tell her how you feel, in person, face to face. And ask her how she feels. Start this next phase of your relationship with clear communication and not game playing.

Remember, though, that a lot of people say “I love you,” to someone only to prompt a similar statement from the other person. Tell your amazing woman that you love her because you want her to know how you feel, not because you want her to validate your feelings with her own assurance of love for you.