Gayity
Mr Les B. Frank
Your Guidance Counselor for Life
Hey Mr. Frank,
I’ve got a real dilemma. Yesterday, I was doing a search of some profiles online looking for other guys in my area who are into water sports. I have kept my interest in WS totally secret from everybody — including my boyfriend. I recognized the pic in one of the profiles because it was a photo that I had taken of my boyfriend’s “equipment.” The freaky thing is that his profile (under a pretend name like my secret profile is) says that he’s into the same thing I am.
I’m not sure how to bring this up with him because it would mean admitting that I was snooping around to hook up with other guys, plus I’d have to confess about keeping my fetish a secret.
Signed,
P. P., Middlebury, VT
Dear P.P.,
Seems to me that you’re holding on to a lot of guilt and a lot of urine for no reason. Let it go and let it flow! Yes, you have a secret online persona who is looking to swap soakings but, it appears, so does your boyfriend.
Unlike many people who discover clandestine activities of their mates, you are golden. Shower your boyfriend with the news that you both share the same appreciation for getting wet and wild and I bet he’ll be drenched with relief. Why expect him to be pissed off, when you both want to be pissed on?
I may not be a weather forecaster, but I predict rain in your future.
*****
Hey Mr. Frank,
My life partner lost a very good friend in the World Trade Center tragedy. Ever since, she has been very depressed and not interested in any kind of physical or sexual closeness with me. I understand that she is upset and sad, but I feel like I could help her through this if she would just let me comfort her.
Any ideas?
Signed,
Margaretta, Bennington, VT
Dear Margaretta,
I wish I had a quick and snappy suggestion to solve your problem. Truth is, I think there are many people experiencing the kinds of feelings your partner is having, even if they didn’t lose someone who was personally connected to them.
I would encourage your partner to get counseling to deal with her feelings of — I’m guessing here — grief and, perhaps, survivor guilt. Everyone in the country could use some professional guidance at this point. All the flag waving and anthem singing isn’t going to give us the personal and emotional tools we’ll need to deal with a tragedy of this magnitude.
Let your partner know that you love her and are there for her. Take that first step and take care.
Mr. Les B. Frank offers guidance counseling to people of all ages. He's also chief ball polisher for a men's bowling league. Some letters are edited for length, spelling or grammar. Send your questions and requests for guidance to HeyMrFrank@aol.com