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Ma Vie En Jade
| Ma Vie En Jade No Boxes Allowed |  |
by Jade Wolfe
Both daytimers beyond reach and clock facing out into the room, my writing day can commence. Sketches of rooms, streets and buildings hang in plastic sleeves up above the computer. It is still new to me, this writing thing. And the visual work of designing and mapping out a world, even when it is a small piece of one, is a surprising corner to turn. A makeshift sign keeps me company. It’s a blown-up clipart of a flying fish captioned: ‘NO BOXES ALLOWED’.
Creativity is an element often diminished as it becomes defined. The very words describing something can quickly begin to limit and control how or why a creation is viewed or appreciated. And do we not fall into this trap with ourselves? Considering self-worth as if it were a marketable product? The very act of judging implies mistrust. If we accept ourselves as is, judgement is unnecessary, right?
Creating a work of fiction requires an open mind. Self-worth is different. People have to understand what is and is not acceptable about themselves. Isn’t it important to fit in and grow up to be ‘somebody’? Somebody? Why not grow up to be yourself?
Self-worth is essential in completing the wellness within us. Understanding what enhances our well-being and believing in its importance, it is our responsibility to choose wisely the way in which we care for ourselves. Let’s face it, beyond sharing a carbon-based heritage, our individual needs vary considerably. Yet, our species spends so much time and energy being irritated and trying to control these differences among us. As it is true in the global community, so is it true in the GBLT community.
Using ‘GBLT’ denotes a kind of ‘box’. Many voices declare that leaving out the letter ‘Q’ is unfair and exclusive. The word queer is as abhorrent to those who’ve lived under its dark connotations, as it is a breath of freedom to those would be empowered by its use – equally understandable perspectives of a yet to be determined conclusion.
February 14th is a merchandiser’s dream for impulse buying brought into frenzied proportions. As with any widely recognized day or season, we can celebrate the natural essence and ignore bastardized outgrowths. There are other ways to appreciate affection, adoration, and love for one another.
Here is a sample alternative listing: in personal daytimer, note a small token gift of a foot massage or take over spousal chore for the day.
Do this for every week for the month of February. Not everyone is in an intimate relationship. A random act of kindness for anyone we choose holds the same potential. ‘It is not by how many we are loved, but how well we are loved’ goes the phrase.
My spouse and I love one another. We are doing so, as are many of you, ‘outside of a time-entrenched box’. And the lines that so strongly defined which kind of love was acceptable, forming that box are not so strong or well-defined. The intent or aim of a being is so important, while the outer or superficial design of said being, are not.
“Tell yourself, his exhalation feeds the plants." (Soul Stories, Gary Zurkav) This is a delicately powerful phrase. There are moments when the person facing you is easier to curse than bless. Summarily cursing one another is a nasty habit to acquire. As part of a species prone to being socialized into a we-they mental box, avoiding sand-box scenarios is essential. Staying true to my inner voice is easier when the outside noise is turned off. Since the plight of the rain forests is very serious to me, the above silent blessing comes in handy.