Gayity
Mr. Les B. Frank
Mr Les B. Frank
Your Guidance Counselor for Life
Hey, Mr. Frank!
I have been out of college a year and I have a job that I really like. My friends tell me I’m boring because I don’t want to go out with them all the time. All they talk about is who’s having sex with who and how they can get more sex. I don’t care about that. I mean, I care about sex but I don’t want to spend all my time trying to hook up. I would rather meet a nice guy to be friends with first and then boyfriends. My friends say that I must not be gay (they think they’re really funny when they say that) or that I am just too dull for words.
Signed,
Donald
Montpelier
Dear Donald,
You need new friends!
Just because you seem more settled than many of the guys your age and aren’t looking to hump every homo in sight, doesn’t mean that you’re boring. I know lots of young men who think the way you do. Part of the problem, though, is that our gay community is so focused on sex. I would bet that your friends are getting laid a lot less often than they say and that some of them would find value in your approach.
I would encourage you to get out more. If only to meet new friends who can be supportive of the way you choose to lead your life and who might be good boyfriend material.
*****
Hey, Mr. Frank!
My girlfriend’s sister is staying with us, while she takes some classes this semester. She’s great and I like her a lot but I think she is questioning her sexuality and I’m not sure how to proceed. I spoke to my girlfriend and she laughed it off. She said that I think everybody is questioning their sexuality.
I admit to being a little hypersensitive to the issue but my girlfriend’s sister has been giving me some pretty clear signals and asking some curious questions.
Signed,
Margaret,
Bennington
Dear Margaret,
You seem to be more concerned about the situation than anyone else. We all know that going through a period of questioning our sexuality can be difficult but it’s a process that we all need to go through in our own way and at our own pace.
I think it’s great that you want to help your sister-in-law discover her true nature, whether that be lesbian or straight. But all you should really do is let her know that you are there for her, if she has questions about anything. Let her come to you and let her find the voice to come out, so to speak, and be more direct.
After all, if she’s living with you and her lesbian sister, she’s got to know that that trail has already been blazed and that you and her sister may have some wisdom from which she can benefit.
Mr. Les B. Frank offers guidance counseling to people of all ages. He's also chief ball polisher for a men's bowling league. Some letters are edited for length, spelling or grammar. Send your questions and requests for guidance to HeyMrFrank@aol.com