Gayity
Mr. Les B. Frank
Mr Les B. Frank
Your Guidance Counselor for Life
Hey, Mr. Frank,
My timing sucks! I’ve had a constant craving kind of crush on one of my co-workers for almost three years but she’s always had a girlfriend and I never wanted to be the evil homewrecker.
Real recently, she broke up with her girlfriend and is finally available. The problem is, about six months ago, I met a woman and we moved in together. She’s great and I’m totally committed to her but I can’t stop thinking that I may be missing my one and only chance to be with the woman I’ve wanted to be with for so long.
What should I do?
Signed,
Bad Timing,
Springfield, VT
Dear Ms. Timing,
Bad timing is just one of your issues.
You say you never wanted to be a homewrecker but that moral stand doesn’t seem to apply to your own home. I get the sense that, with the slightest display of interest from your colleague crush, you’d kick your current girlfriend to the curb as you were running out the door to have a TV-movie slow-motion embrace with the now-available woman.
A relationship with the woman you’re obsessing about is a maybe, at best. Do you really want to risk screwing up what you have and what is real for some lesbian version of a romance novel plot?
Though, if your commitment to your girlfriend is so tenuous that you can’t stop thinking about the other woman and wondering if you’re missing some mythical, magical one-and-only chance, you’ve already started to swing the wrecking ball.
Be honest with your girlfriend about what’s going on for you. She deserves that, at least.
*****
Hey Mr. Frank!
I am horny all the time. I know a lot of guys say that but I totally mean it. I jerk off every chance I get and that’s on top of having sex whenever I can. I got a boyfriend last month and he thinks that because I’m in a relationship now I shouldn’t be jerking off anymore. I told him he has got to be kidding and that my jerking off doesn’t have anything to do with him. He says he doesn’t see it that way. It’s a big fight for us. Whose side are you on?
Signed,
J. D.,
Manchester, NH
Dear J. D.,
I don’t want to take sides, but I do have an opinion.
There have been periods in my life when I’ve spent more time greasing my pole than doing anything else. For many men, it can be addictive. Guys skip meals to slap the sausage, ignore pets to spank the monkey and neglect tasks other than the one at hand.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had a great rapport with my right hand. And I see nothing wrong with celebrating life with a firm grip on your joystick.
But don’t let your jerking off give people the impression that you’re a jerk. And it sounds like there’s a possibility that could happen to you.
That said, just because you’re coupled, I don’t think you have to stop whacking the weasel. Make sure your boyfriend understands what you mean when you say it has nothing to do with him. Gay men can be very sensitive to the idea that they may not be all that their man needs to be sexually fulfilled.
While there may be some truth to that concept, it’s not something that has to be shoved in his face, so to speak. Stroke his ego more and your dick less.
And, whatever you do, use a good moisturizer on that randy rod to prevent chafing.
Mr. Les B. Frank offers guidance counseling to people of all ages. He's also chief ball polisher for a men's bowling league. Some letters are edited for length, spelling or grammar. Send your questions and requests for guidance to HeyMrFrank@aol.com