'Til Divorce Do Us Part
The End of a Civil Union

Gay divorcee Arthur Tremblay

       When Arthur Tremblay and Harsh Shah were joined in civil union last year Tremblay thought it would last forever. It didn’t. In fact, Tremblay, 47, and Shah, 28, recently made history by becoming the first gay male Vermont couple to “divorce” under Vermont’s landmark civil union law.
     According to Tremblay, an architectural designer, his relationship with Shaw, who works in retail, began like many others. “We met through a mutual friend, and when I met him I knew I liked him,” he said in an interview.
     “I invited him over for dinner and within a couple of weeks we were living together. It really seemed to work. We began talking about a civil union six months later. When it came around to the first anniversary of knowing each other, we decided that a civil union was appropriate. We had our civil union on March 31, 2001. It was pretty nice, very posh.”
     The relationship ended six months later. Court documents reveal that on September 28, 2001 Shah paid $125 to file a request for civil union dissolution in the Chittenden County Family Court in Burlington. Tremblay objected to the split in a letter to his court case manager.
     “I do not want this divorce,” he wrote. “I have been horribly hurt. Though he is the plaintiff it is me who was wronged. He lived with me rent-free and used me to his own end. Then he just dumped me. I still love him and am stuck.”
     Family Court Judge Linda Levitt issued a civil union dissolution decree on April 8, 2002. (Under Vermont law, couples need to live apart for six months before divorces or civil union dissolutions are granted). The court order states, “a civil union dissolution is granted to the Plaintiff on the ground that the Plaintiff and Defendant have lived separate and apart in excess of six consecutive months and the resumption of the civil union relationship is not reasonably probable.”
     When contacted by this reporter, Shah said, “What’s happened is between me and him. It’s over, and it’s final, and that’s it.”
     Tremblay concedes that Shah’s decision to dissolve their civil union came as a shock to him and was difficult. “I tried everything I possibly could think of to get back together,” Tremblay said. “He said ‘it’s over.’ Unfortunately with a married relationship it’s not ‘I decide it is over and let’s just move on.’ It is not that casual.”
     According to the Vermont Secretary of State’s web site, the dissolution of civil unions is handled by the Vermont family court and “follow the same procedures and (are) subject to the same substantive rights and obligations that are involved in the dissolution of marriage, including any residency requirements.”
     Now that the relationship is legally over, Tremblay describes the civil union dissolution process as “very simple.” “We did it between the two of us,” he said. “There were no joint assets whatsoever, no children, and we had been living apart for six months.”
     In spite of the legal ease of the dissolution, Tremblay says he learned much from the process. “It really drove home to me exactly how serious civil union is and how much it is exactly like a regular marriage,” he said. “The children, assets, retirement plans, and alimony were exactly the same, and just as difficult, as in a marriage. This has the weight of law behind it.”
     Under Vermont’s civil union law, gay and lesbian couples are entitled to more than 300 state-regulated benefits including hospital visitation, inheritance rights, family leave benefits, adoption, public assistance, state tax benefits, and marital communication privileges. Since the law took effect in July 2000, 3,471 civil union licenses have been issued. To date, three lesbian couples and one gay couple, Tremblay and Shah, have dissolved their civil unions.
     According to a story in the April 6 edition of the New York Post, the story of Tremblay’s historic divorce is being developed as a play by playwright Larry Myers. In an article titled “Cheating hubby,” the Post reports that the tentative title for the production is “Same Sex Divorce.” Myers plans to open the play at the Outlanta Theater in Atlanta, Georgia.

Paul Olsen writes for in newsweekly.