Gayity
Mr. Les B. Frank
Mr. Les B. Frank
Your Guidance Counselor for Life
Crushed By A Crush
Hey, Mr. Frank!
I’m a sophomore in college and I’ve developed a crush on a friend. We met right before I started school here, and hung out and just kind of had fun. One night, she told me that she always thought I was cute and that she had a crush on me. I sorta freaked, because I just thought of her in a friendly context and wasn’t terribly attracted to her.
In the past couple months, I’ve started to see her in a totally different light and, now, I’m finding it difficult to repress my feelings for her. I’m worried, though, because she tends to get into really serious relationships that are often destined for destruction. Also, I’m a virgin and I’m afraid of getting into a big, long-term relationship with her and it possibly leading to her being the only woman I sleep with. I guess I want to play around a little -- not a lot. I’m not really destined for slutdom if I’m a 20 year-old virgin.
So, what do I do?
-- More than a crush
Dear More,
You’re obviously bright but that’s part of your problem. Unlike many of your peers who act without thinking, you’re thinking and not acting.
Tell her how you feel. You’re already projecting yourself into a long-term relationship with this woman. That’s like the heroines of classic novels who envision their lives with dreamed-of suitors before they’ve been formally introduced.
Take baby steps, baby. See if there’s a chance for something to develop but don’t condemn yourself to a serious relationship destined for destruction just because you’ve jumped to conclusions before you’ve jumped her.
Hey, Mr. Frank!
My partner and I have been together over 2 years. I’m in my low 30’s and he’s in his low 40’s. All is good except for the sex. He’s very inhibited. He only wants me to get on top of him and rub up and down.
I really want him to top me but he never wants to. Part of the reason may be that he’s really thick and the condom is uncomfortably tight. Do they make extra wide condoms? I’ve tried to top him but he won’t let me. I’m not too good at blowing him because my teeth get in the way due to his girth. Lately he just blows me until I cum but doesn’t seem to want to cum himself.
I’ve tried to just deal with it but I’m really not content having a less than desirable sex life. How can I get him to be more versatile and uninhibited? Should I suggest Viagra, and if so, how do I do that when he isn’t aware there is a problem?
– Seeking input
Dear Seeking input,
Sexual compatibility can be a very serious issue. Getting Viagra isn’t going to solve your problem. All that hyper-hyped pharmaceutical will do is give him a hard on that he probably won’t want to use. His diminished sex drive may be due any number of things. It could be medical, psychological or simply that sex isn’t very important for him and never has been.
Has he always favored the same limited menu of activities? Some gay men prefer frottage (the rubbing you describe) to oral or anal sex but, as you clearly indicate, you’re seeking input not just friction.
Yes, there are condoms that are made for extra-large penises. You can even order them from the comfort of your home. Most online sellers of sex supplies have a wide variety of rubbers, including those for Promethean pricks. And you can do stretching exercises and adapt your sucking style to work around his bratwurst. Do your part to do his part.
In terms of the core issue, though, the two of you are either going to have find some workable middle ground or consider options for having your sexual needs met in other ways with other people. An open relationship can be more of a Pandora’s box than a panacea with some couples, so be sure you approach this carefully.
And remember, good sex is easier to find than a good relationship. If you’ve got the latter, the two of you can fix the former.
Mr. Les B. Frank offers guidance counseling to people of all ages. Some letters are edited for length, spelling or grammar and all become the property of Les B. Frank.. Send your questions and requests for guidance to HeyMrFrank@aol.com