Gayity
Mr. Les B. Frank
Mr. Les B. Frank
Your Guidance Counselor for Life
Hanging Too Low
Hey, Mr. Frank,
As I have gotten older, my balls – which were pretty low hangers to start with – have been hanging even lower. I’m not bragging but they are very large and it’s like having a big, heavy pendulum swinging around in my boxers or when I’m walking around naked. It’s uncomfortable and other guys have even made snide comments about the way they hang. I have stopped going in hot tubs with other guys because that only makes the problem worse. Is there such a thing as a scrotum lift? Would my insurance cover it? I’m sure I couldn’t afford it otherwise.
Hanging Too Low
Dear Hanging,
Before you start talking about surgical options, do things that cost a whole lot less and don’t involve a scalpel.
Stop wearing boxers and switch to jockstraps. Your nuts need support to minimize the hanging and stop the banging against your thighs when you walk. If you’re fashion conscious, you can buy a variety of colors and styles. When you’re naked, your sac will swing. No two ways about it. If that’s too uncomfortable or embarrassing for you, then, keep your jock on until you actually need to use your equipment.
Most importantly, you should realize that some guys simply hang much lower than others and that often gets more pronounced as they get older. There’s no reason to get testy about it. And no reason to ask some doctor to slice your sac and lift your disconcerting danglers.
Hey, Mr. Frank,
This woman I’ve been dating and sleeping with could be like the twin of a girlfriend who dumped me about five years ago. Sometimes, it is so weird that I forget who I’m with. I called the new girl the old girlfriend’s name in bed and that was a total disaster as you can imagine.
Do you think I am only with this new woman to work out some emotional stuff that didn’t get resolved with the other one?
Deja vu
Dear Ms. Vu,
Only you can know for sure whether or not your new woman is just a psychic stand-in for you to work out some unresolved issues. In any case, you should figure it out pretty damn quickly because using the new girlfriend that way isn’t fair to her and it’s not healthy for you. Regardless of how similar they may look on the outside, they are two different people who have had different life experiences. You need to get closure on your own or with the actual girlfriend who dumped you instead of dragging this unsuspecting new woman into your psycho drama.
©2002
Mr. Les B. Frank offers guidance counseling to people of all ages. Some letters are edited for length, spelling or grammar and all become the property of Les B. Frank. Send your questions and requests for guidance to HeyMrFrank@aol.com