Burlington Not Quite Barren for Romantic Queers

 by Fran Moravcsik

      A red-trimmed rack in the chain book and music store on Church Street in downtown Burlington held the first valentines to catch my eye this season. I went over to browse, picking up one showing two women on bicycles. But when I opened it the kicker was, “If I have a good date, you’re on your own.” I shoved that one back. Of the hundred cards on display, eight were labeled for family, six showed heterosexual couples, five showed female pairs (with a friendship valentine motif), none showed two men, and 23 featured animals, a direction we will not pursue.
      As my errands carried me southward on Church Street, I kept an eye out for more possibilities. Candy stores had no cards yet, though they earnestly promised some would be out for this, the only chocolate holiday between Christmas and Easter. The craft stores and City Market feature artistic renditions of rural Vermont, a comfortable distance from humans and any of their messy emotions.
      This wholesomeness drove me to the opposite extreme, and I ducked into Burlington City Center to check out a store that looks porny though the chain is listed as a youth-oriented business. The woman with the pierced nose and leather fedora asked, “Cards? What kind of cards? We got playing cards.” No greeting cards, but she recommended a large downtown drug store as having the best selection in the area.
      Of course! I went down Cherry Street and indeed found a long rack just inside the door, about five hundred different valentines, meticulously labeled as to style and designated recipient. About three-fourths were for relatives, from nuclear-close to the farthest twig of the family tree. No gays, no lesbians, no surprise there in this mainstream store. However, when I found the label “son and wife” I recognized another category missing from this heterosexual array: “child and longtime companion.” I bet that would sell well to the PFLAG people.
      The rest of the drugstore valentines, those for lovers, were divided into religious, humorous, and romantic. The first seemed a non-starter. Humorous valentines are fun to read off the rack, but tricky to send. Jokes suitable for straight couples don’t often resonate with our kind. The romantic ones, now those are the classic item. The pronouns “you” and “me” do not reveal gender, at least in English, and the sentiments can apply to anyone in love.
      I must admit I did not read past the first page of flowing script on the wordier cards, but most of them seemed valid enough for all sorts. Even among the five in the category “romantic masculine” was one a gay man could use. I did not see any specifically “romantic feminine.”
     These rather bland generic cards generally do not appeal to me. I went over to the chain import store, where they have a more offbeat selection. The valentines had not been put out yet, but a salesperson opened the carton for me to look through. I was surprised and disappointed to discover many of the same cards I had seen at the chain book store, and not much more. Perhaps the import store does not pay much attention to seasonal cards compared to the general ones.
      Looking further for more sophisticated cards, I went on down Church Street to a local cards, stationery, party and wedding invitation store. Again the valentines would not be out until next week, and this time the clerk did not offer me a preview. I looked over the long wall of cards for any clues as to the preferred style in this store, and they ran the full gamut from rude and crude to the most sugary sentimental.
      Among the comic ones by Mik Wright were the only cards I had seen so far that specifically referred to gay folk, e.g. “Quit sulking Sarah. At least you didn’t find him with a good looking man.” Maybe among the twenty card companies the store uses will be some that have valentines for lgbtq customers. If not, then certainly the merchandise needs to be in the wholesale realm before we can expect to see it in the stores.
      For cards specific to our community, the place to go is the Peace and Justice store. When I went down there they were still doing inventory and did not have valentines out yet, but they pointed out the civil union cards made for them by a local woman. There were at least five racks with same-sex cards on them. For once, the straight ones were probably a minority. Plenty of nude same-sex couples available, though I never quite understand why the raunchiest ones are postcards, which must travel without envelope through the mail to the delight of the postperson and the mail snooper. Anyway, for those who want a valentine that is as out of the closet as they are, Peace and Justice is the place.

Fran Moravcsik was pictured on the cover of last month’s OITM and lives in South Burlington.