Views
An Epiphany of Pride
An Epiphany of Pride
by Sierra Burke
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (lgbtq) people cut across race, class, gender, and nationality lines and represent a full spectrum of political opinions. There are queer people in the military and a visible queer presence at almost every recent peace rally. Queer organizations, listserves, and communities have been rife with debates about what position to take on a war with Iraq. Meanwhile, lgbtq people remain under attack by military and fundamentalist governments around the world, including the U.S.
I recently had a pride epiphany. While I have been pecking away at the things barricading me in and preventing me from being my true self, I was not embracing the pride I have for who I am and for the community in which I live. I know that there are a lot of horrible, evil, no-good things out there that should frighten me as a transgendered person, but, I now know I need to let my pride guide me past all of that into a brighter place in my life, happiness.
My brother once said to me that he remembered a time in his life when he struggled to find his purpose and place in life. He worried about me, as my challenge was compounded with gender and sexual identity struggles. For a time I bought into his empathy, believing that I was weighed down with all of these extra burdens, giving me an excuse. It gave me a copout to use for everything that went wrong in my life. I could use it to explain why I gave in when there were pressures at work or why I caved at the face of oppression. I could use it at my whim to suit my fancy. It had lost its legitimacy in that it was only a tool for weakness, not for my growth.
When I take pride in the transsexual I am, I am no longer able to accept my brother’s empathy. I find it false. Pride in myself and my community encourages me to step into challenges with a smile and face oppression head-on. Pride gives me the inner energy to realize that my gender and sexual identity struggles are not struggles, but rather are a part of me, and the struggle has come to an end.
I now know who I am and am able to embrace my true gender and my sexual orientation as strengths. I am able to use them as sources of power to step forward into the world saying, “Look at me! I am here to make the world a brighter place.” My brother need not worry about me. I have more going for me then he ever did. I may still be figuring out exactly what I want to do with my life, but I know exactly who I am.
It is easy, when we get wrapped up in our daily lives, to forget about the joy that we experience from the community in which we live. It is hard, at times, to remember how long we have struggled to get where we are and how much pride we each should hold for where we stand today. Our community has a right to hold its head high and we, as members of that community, have a right to hold our heads high, within it.
It takes a lot of energy to survive in this world as a gay man, lesbian, bi-sexual person, transgendered person, questioning person, or intersexed person, whether you are closeted or out to the world, or somewhere in between. This struggle earns each of us the right to be proud of our survival at the very least, if not at the triumph we each have made over the oppression we face each and every day. We also have earned the right to be proud of the small victories we each have made in our own ways toward beating back discrimination. Be it by educating someone or by not laughing at a joke, we have all done it somewhere. We have all fought the battle, be proud of it.
Pride gives us strength to do the work. There is a lot of work involved within our community. For gays, lesbians and bisexuals, there is the work of coming out, if they so choose. The challenging and emotional work is taxing. It can be costly emotionally and socially. It is also extremely rewarding once the individual finds the freedom to live their life honestly. For transsexuals there is the work of transitioning. This is emotional, expensive and often lonely work. It is not uncommon for transsexuals to lose friends, family and jobs during this process. But again the reward of living life as their true selves is worth the price.
None of this work would be accomplished were it not for individuals having pride in themselves and in the community. Pride in self helps to build the esteem needed to get through the challenges placed before us. Pride in the community helps to build the support needed when things get rough. It is this sort of working pride that binds us together as a working unit. It is this form of pride that helps each of us make it through the worst of times. When we feel so very low, it is pride in our deepest feelings of ourselves, whether it is in our sexual orientation or in our gender or both that gives us the strength to keep going.
Pride comes in many forms and at many times in our lives. It serves many purposes and many functions. It serves the community to keep it together, serving its members and its many organizations. Pride helps to build an even stronger community. It serves the individual when they are struggling through the darkest of times.
Pride is something to celebrate. We have all done the work to earn the right to celebrate with pride. Each of us, whether strong activists or quiet members of the community not yet out, we are all doing the work. Celebrate with pride. Who we are is an asset. Never let it be a burden. Never let anyone convince you or persuade you that your gender or your sexual orientation is anything other than an asset to who you are. Knowing who you are is something to be proud of and will help you make other decisions in you life with more confidence. Let pride guide you to happiness.
Sierra Burke lives and writes in central Vermont.