Arts
An Aficionado's Guide to the Kinsey Sicks
Funny Guy: Joel Perry
Funny Guy!
That's Why They're in Cages, People! Joel Perry Alyson Books, |
 |
by Scott Sherman
Joel
Perry is a funny guy. In his frequent contributions to Instinct magazine,
Perry is sensible, acerbic, and sometimes, a little mean. You've probably
seen or heard him somewhere; he writes for The Advocate, Frontiers and,
according to his publisher, two nationally syndicated radio comedy services.
Maybe you’ve even read Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral
Sex. If so, gulp.
In his latest collection of short essays,
That's Why They're in Cages People!, Perry looks at popular culture
and gay life through his witty gay eye. He writes about ordinary things:
his first Gay Pride Parade, visits to his family, vacations with his lover,
and why a guy doesn't call back. He also shares his more unusual experiences:
auditioning for To Tell The Truth, interviewing male hustlers for their
blowjob secrets, and working the piercing booth at a Pride festival. "After
the seventh time I watched a steel needle go into a man's penis,"
Perry writes, "I had to remind myself how I'd gotten into this position."
Perry is one of those people who see the
funny things in everyday life, and who can write about them in ways to
which we all can relate. Here's Perry imagining how some of TIVO's best
features might be helpful if applied to real-life situations. "A
similar feature is 'replay.' When you miss a line, you can go back 10
seconds in time and replay it. Boy, would that come in handy on visits
to my parents. There's never a day I'm there that something doesn't fall
out of their mouths that makes me go 'What the fuck?' Like the time my
mom asked me, 'In your relationship, are you the receptive one?' Or another
time, when she said, 'I hope you never had unprotected sex with Rock Hudson.'"
Perry also has some great one-liners in
this book. As someone pathetically untalented in math, I especially related
to this one: "I see numbers the way Dali sees clocks."
But the best thing about Perry is how joyful
he is about his sexuality. "Being gay is a great and hilarious gift,"
he observes.
Perry applies that positive thinking to
a consideration of gay divas. "Why are so many gays addicted to screen
icons like Judy Garland and Marilyn Monroe?" After observing that
both women were talented, Perry concludes that they were ultimately sad
victims. "I realize that we gays identify with a similar sense of
being born with a sparkle and beauty that was viciously mauled by a society
that seeks to destroy what it doesn’t understand. But is clinging
to that healthy?
"A better addiction," Perry writes,
"is Barbra Streisand. She managed to seize the Hollywood machine
and make it do her bidding, even if that meant foisting The Mirror Has
Two Faces on us. The point is, she knows she’s a woman battling
a misogynistic town, yet she doesn't let that stop her because she knows
she’s fabulous. We too are hated and fabulous, so let’s be
like Babs and not give a damn what anyone thinks either."
Perry’s abiding optimism and good
will are best expressed in the book's last essay "“We're Here,
We're Queer, Now What?" Perry wonders why there are so many visible
gays now. "If you believe in reincarnation, it's 'Why did so many
gay souls chose now to incarnate?' I think I chose now because it took
humankind this long to perfect air conditioning and takeout. But what
about you?"
Perry goes on, "Could it be happening
because of the gift we have that the world needs now? I know that may
seem like an odd concept. The first time I heard it, I thought, Gifts
to the world? I didn't even know the world was registered. But we do have
gifts. For instance, by our being different yet thriving and having fun
doing it, we give others permission to be different and do the same."
"Another gift we exemplify, for
those willing to learn from it, is that despite living in a culture that
spends a lot of energy trying to tell people what role to be, we shrug
it off and make up our own roles. 'A man must be gruff and tough.' Wrong…when
other people see us bursting through these walls, its dynamic, powerful
stuff."
Perry concludes: "I propose a new slogan,
not meant to be funny but to be investigated. It's one that speaks to
our community as well as the dominant culture: 'We're here, we're queer,
how 'bout we explore this together?'" Which is exactly what Perry
does in these essays – explores his big gay life and those around
him.
You probably won't want to read this
book at one sitting. The essays are short – two-to-four pages apiece
– and they're best enjoyed a few at a time. But keep this book by
your bedside, and you'll go to sleep every night with a smile on your
face. And a little wiser, too.
Scott Sherman smiles before sleep in Richmond.