Lavender Lizzie
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Lavender
Lizzie |
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Dear Lavender Lizzie,
Hi, I am friends with this girl who recently told me she has been into me for a while; I had no idea. I felt the same and shared it with her. We went back to my place after the date, and ended up having sex.
The next day she told me she was breaking up with her boyfriend for me. She did. Then told me so. Then he cried. She felt bad, and now she got back together with him! This is after she told me she wanted to spend every night with me, and was all into me, and hated guys.
I am confused. We kept trying to meet up to talk about the situation, since I was noticibly upset, but our schedules didn’t ever match up. She called me a few times, just to chat. I started calling her back. And now she isn't calling me at all! What in the world is going on? What do you think I should do? Please, help!
Signed,
Please Help!
Dear "Help,"
You'll have to help me with the terminology here. "Into"? Does that mean hopelessly in love, because that's the way you are acting. If I understand the situation, you "did the deed" with a woman whom you dated once, afterwards both of you made promises of undying love and fidelity, and then one of you found that, alas, she couldn't quite do that. Now the other of you is devastated.
I suppose that Lizzie is supposed to be solicitous and say, "Oh, you poor dear." She's going to try really hard not to say, "What did you expect?" That isn't going to help your aching heart, she knows. But she is most tempted to use your heartache as an object lesson to other lesbians out there who really, truly, honestly believe that one fantastic night together is proof of ever-lasting compatibility and endless romance... Oh, she might as well be singing in a thunderstorm. Sigh.
OK, so what will help you? The truth? She's not going to give up her other love right now. It is irrelevant that the other love is male, distasteful though that may seem to some readers. There simply ARE women out there who are perfectly willing to... oh, well, we needn't get into that. In any case, the maleness of the other party is irrelevant to the reality that this other woman has made it pretty clear that you are not her first choice, contrary to what her mouth (in any of its activities) is communicating. She also has managed not to speak to you about your "noticeable upsetness" and I doubt she will. She's running, plain and simple.
Now ask yourself: do you want to be involved with someone who makes promises, breaks them, and then runs from the person she's hurt so as not to have to confront what she's done?
Consider yourself lucky, my dear, that you got out of this with only a few scratches. Later on, the lacerations would be much more painful.
Oh, and next time, please, please, please wait until you've gotten to know someone before you give away your heart. And don't confuse fireworks under the sheets to mean anything. It doesn't.
Lovingly,
Lavender Lizzie