Lavender Lizzie
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Lavender
Lizzie |
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Dear Lavender
Lizzie,
During my summer travels, I met a guy in
the midwest. He lives in North Dakota. We pal'ed around with each other
for the better part of a week... ended up in bed together the last night
in a very sweet, hot encounter... Then I had to get in my car and drive
home. Sigh...
I emailed him a few days after I returned home... he returned my email
the same day... and I responded... but haven't heard back from him yet.
I didn't "plan" to "fall"
for him... but I think I have... and I am not quite sure if I should just
let these feelings "sit" for a bit or if I should tell him.
I mean, let's face it: long distance relationships... well, they mostly
never work (or so I have been forewarned by well-meaning friends). But
I also can't help the way I felt while I was in his arms... sigh...
Signed,
Long Distance Longing
Dear Longing,
Oh my. All this sighing and trailing off...
Ms. Lizzie just LOVES the delicate drama of it all! She can tell you are
still in that dreamy state. When else is it so difficult to finish one's
sentences?
But Ms. Lizzie is ever the practicalist!
So she is going to bring you right back to Earth with some rather "undreamy"
questions:
1. Do you have the MONEY to travel to see
him on a regular basis? It is true that ox-cart is cheaper than airplanes,
and Ms. Lizzie knows someone who is thinking about selling her oxen, but
you would be a long time on the road if you chose this route. I advise
airplanes whenever possible, which means a great deal of cash indeed.
2. If you do not have this cash, you are
left with some rather unpleasant alternatives: phones and email. While
these may stem the flow of longing for a short while (and, Ms. Lizzie
has heard to her shock and horror, these media are used to satisfy other
desires than simple social contact with one's beloved), they are ultimately
unsatisfactory as a means to conduct an ongoing relationship.
3. If you agree that the above options are
impractical, would you actually consider uprooting your life here in lovely
Vermont, where there are luscious boys-a-plenty, to go off to some even
colder, emptier Mid-Western clime in the hopes of finding warmth in the
bedsheets (because, I promise you, you will find warmth no where else
in that frozen Tundra)?
4. Might he consider moving here? If so,
Paradise is not around the corner just yet. He would have to find a way
to make a life for himself here that was not simply an extension of yours:
he'd have to find work, friends, hobbies, etc. which will make him feel
like a whole person and not an appendage to you. Does he have these capabilities?
It's not everyone who can do this...
No, my dear, I'm afraid that a week together
and a final night of hot sweetness is simply not enough to go on. Ms.
Lizzie is delighted that you had such a lovely encounter, and wishes you
many more in the future, but with someone who is a tad closer than God's
Frozen North. I hear that Brattleboro can get quite chilly in the Winter.
Why don't you try for someone there?
Lovingly,
Lavender Lizzie
Unless you'd rather go on with all that sighing and longing. Then, by
all means, go right ahead with this pursuit. Hmm... maybe I should buy
stock in American Airlines...
Lavender Lizzie has been lovely for over a century. Born and bred
in the Victorian Era, she has brought her sage and genteel perspective
to the lovelorn for decades. Write her with your 'queeries' at lavenderlizzie@
lavenderlips.com