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Peace Begins At Home
Celia Cuddy's mission is working against violence
by Cynthia Potts
It's
one of the busiest days of Celia Cuddy's year - the annual Take Back the
Night March is scheduled to start in just a few hours, and "It's
been really crazy!" Yet the executive director of the Women's Rape
Crisis Center was willing to take some time to talk with Out in the
Mountains.
We began with the upcoming event. "We're
expecting a larger crowd this year. There's been such a raised level of
interest, of awareness, especially after the release of Douglas Bryant."
Bryant is a convicted repeat sex offender, a rapist, who has been re-arrested
for violating a requirement to provide a "valid address" for
his listing on the state's sex offender registry. "This [event] gives
the community a chance to come and be heard. We've issued special invitations
to the State's Attorney, to the Crime Commissioner, and others. That way
they can hear what's important to the people."
Facilitating this kind of dialog is nothing new
for Cuddy. Her roots with activism and social change go back to her college
days.
"My journey began at college. I attended
Hampshire College, which is an alternative college in Massachusetts. I
majored in child development and peace studies. Like so many of us, that’s
when I came into my feminism and political activism."
After graduation, Cuddy was involved in
the anti-nuclear movement. "There were the wars in South America,
all types of civil disobedience. I took a broad view of anti-violence
activism, looking at global issues."
A number of years later, Cuddy was burnt out. "I was looking for
a way to bring my activism closer to home. There needed to be concrete
links to the community I was living in." A friend was volunteering
at a battered women's shelter in Northampton, Massachusetts, and Cuddy
joined her.
"It was at Necessities that I found
my passion," Cuddy continued. "It was tremendous to be able
to help women on so many levels." It was there that Cuddy met Gail
Keilson, who became "my spiritual mentor." Keilson was the inspiration
for Cuddy to pursue her Masters of Social Work Degree. She obtained the
degree from UVM, in order to "do my work from a deeper place. Gail
was so ethical in everything she did, and I wanted to be like that."
It was also at Necessities that Cuddy
became a victim of domestic violence herself. "She was another volunteer.
We were together 8 months, and it was the classic cycle of violence, with
the slow building and gradual stripping away of my self.
"It's not so uncommon to find batterers
acting as volunteers - after all, what better cover exists? We in the
Queer Anti-Violence movement can't always assume workers come to us with
good intentions.
"This was a pivotal experience,"
Cuddy continued. "It made me determined to frame my anti-violence
work in a way that is inclusive.
"At the core, violence is about power and control. At a central level,
someone has to make a choice to use or abuse that power. There are so
many ways that power is organized in our society. The classic model is
along gender lines, but power is divided among races, classes, ages, even
by levels of personal charisma or how out you are."”
In the beginning, there was a reluctance
to discuss violence in same sex relationships. "People would tilt
their heads like dogs, looking at me with this expression of 'What are
you talking about? Violence comes from outside our community, not within
it.' I think we had to do a little grieving first."
Cuddy chaired the Same Sex Domestic
Violence Task Force. "We were very lucky to work with Peter Jacobson,
who helped us get the large grant to form SafeSpace."
In 1999, Cuddy came to the Women's
Rape Crisis Center. "It's been such a privilege. This is the thing
I've been aiming for, to discover how we can do direct work and create
social change."
A strong feminist framework influences Cuddy’s
leadership. "It's important that we pay attention to the process.
The journey is at the heart of what we do and sometimes that takes a lot
of talk."
Work with victims of violence creates a
special kind of vicarious trauma, something that Cuddy is vigilant for.
"We pay thoughtful attention to that. We have regular staff retreats,
do fun things."
On a personal level, Cuddy is mother to
18-month old Lucy. "She's my greatest joy. She's just learned to
say 'Sure'." Cuddy is co-parenting with her former partner. "We
very intentionally created our family, acting to form a beloved community."
Cuddy also enjoys yoga, reading, poetry, and gardening.
"We have full, complicated lives. I'm
very blessed. But the best thing is that I'm Lucy's Mom."
Cynthia Potts lives with her family and an ever-growing collection
of animals in Plattsburgh, NY. She welcomes reader comments and can be
reached at ctpotts@juno.com