Out In The Mountains : News - Crones Affirm Welcome for "Womyn Born Womyn"

Crones Affirm Welcome for "Womyn Born Womyn"

     Burlington - The Crones, a social group in northern and central Vermont for older women, many of whom are lesbians, has voted to welcome only "womyn born womyn" to its membership and gatherings. The vote was reported in a summary disseminated to the group's email list.
     According to one long-time member who asked that her name not be used, "It's a sore topic and a difficult issue. I'd rather you not put it in the paper at all, or at least let it rest a few months."
     This Crone, who did not want to accept transwomen as members, said that the meeting at which the issue was voted on was surprisingly calm. But, she added, "I've been called a bigot since the meeting" by another Crone. "I spoke from my heart. I spoke the truth - for me."
     The Crone and the communiqué both reported that the group had hoped to reach consensus, but agreed that a majority vote would hold if consensus failed. "Four or five women emailed their opinions and they were read aloud at the meeting," she said. According to the email, those opinions were given equal weight as votes by those present. According to the anonymous Crone, the policy decision was not a response to a specific request by a transwoman to attend gatherings. That assertion was challenged by former Crones member Joan Knight and by Joanna Cole, who had recently moved to Vermont with her partner and begun to attend meetings. Both women said that they thought the discussion and vote were motivated by Cole's attendance and the possibility that Cole's partner, Sarah Flynn, a transwoman, would attend gatherings with her at a later date.
     The group agreed after the meeting that the discussion was confidential, including the way that members voted. Crones on various sides of the issue spoke with OITM about the issue.
      The Crones "is the only place I can go and just be with and talk to old women, women with my experiences. [Transwomen] say they've always felt like women, but how the hell do they know? They've never bled or had menstrual cramps," said the anonymous Crone.
      "I don't feel uncomfortable about my opinion or anything I said at the meeting, but I am uncomfortable with the flack I've been getting [afterward]. I've been accused of being unable to change, bigoted, rigid... Including trans just seems to be the PC thing right now."
The issue, she worries, might split the Crones. "Some women have decided to drop out. They may start another old women's group that does welcome transwomen."
     Flynn said "[The Crones] are a private organization, they're free to make whatever decision they want." Flynn said she had no intention of joining the group.
     Cole, Flynn's partner, said she was "very upset that this group would discriminate against Sarah." She said that as a relative newcomer to Vermont, she had looked to the Crones as a way to meet women she'd like to socialize with. "But I wouldn't push the issue, I'll just have to make a new group of friends."
     "I hate it," said Knight about the group's decision. "I probably won't go back. Anyone who considers herself a lesbian should be able to come and get support for dealing with the stress and stigma that we have all lived with. I can't imagine anyone who has experienced more of it than transwomen."
     She added, "If we can't find it in our hearts to included someone who is like us and yet not like us, it is tragic."
     The issue of whether to welcome transwomen in the Crones has apparently split the group, Cole said, "and I feel bad for that. But then I think, 'why should I feel bad?' This is an open group for women over 40. Sarah is a woman over 40. These are people who've been terribly oppressed, and here they are oppressing another group." Cole said she'd been told the meeting on the issue was very painful and difficult and called it "an educating moment."
     Cole, who said she came out as a lesbian three years ago after two straight marriages, also said she might continue to attend Crones gatherings - if others who favor inclusion would be there. "At some point I would want to bring up the issue again. It discriminates against me, too," she declared, as the partner of a transwoman.