Arts
Vocal Minority Gets New Director
Four Weddings Our Way
The Real Problem(s) with Bondage Erotica
Four
Weddings Our Way
Documenting Pre-CU Rites in a Homophobic World
by Scott Sherman
Gay Weddings Ventura Education
DVD |
I
suspect I have the reality TV gene. Show me real people in any circumstance,
and I'm glued to the tube. Nothing would make me happier than to watch
The Bachelor vs the American Idol facing Fear Factor on the Survivor Island.
I'd much rather live in The Real World than my own.
So, I'm the natural audience for Gay Weddings,
the eight-part "docu-series" just released by Ventura Entertainment.
Gay Weddings originally aired in eight half-hour segments on Bravo. All
eight segments are collected here, along with an additional hour of "where
are they now" updates, and a few other interviews and plugs for non-profit
groups (GLAAD, HRC, and PowerUP).
To be fair, Gay Weddings is not exactly
"reality TV," in which, traditionally, real people are put in
manufactured situations. In Gay Weddings, the subjects choose their own
destinies, and the cameras simply follow them around. The series follows
four couples as they plan and enjoy their same-sex nuptials.
Scott and Harley are the couple who spend
so much time bickering that you wonder if they'll ever make it to the
altar. Scott is small and blonde, a healthy eater and a religious Catholic.
Harley is brunette, Jewish and a fast-food-eating smoker. They seem to
quarrel about everything. At times, it seems that Harley's mother is more
into their wedding than they are. She, a brassy, over-tanned bottle blonde,
is one of the guiltiest pleasures of the show. When she tells us that
Scott is "every mother's dream, he's going to make my son so happy!"
you'll want to hoot with joy.
Lupe and Sonja are described by the DVD's
distributor as "attractive, Rubenesque women, playful and romantic."
It's a pretty fair description, and of all the couples, I found them the
most charming and sincere. Sonja, an African-American mother of an 18-year-old
son, is especially winning and sensible. Some of the show's most painful
moments come when this eminently likable couple of color is rejected by
wedding venues that are uninterested in hosting a lesbian affair.
Also painful is the road traveled by Dale
and Eve, a lesbian couple who, despite some gay family members, have to
deal with familiar familial discord. In one excruciating scene, Eve is
on the phone with her parents and asks, "You guys are definitely
going to come right?" "Well," her mother weasels, "you
know, we're here and you’re there," as if the distance were
impassible without sled dogs and a dirigible. Later, Eve cries to her
partner when she realizes that "I went to my brother's and sister's
weddings, but they won't come to mine."
Last are Dan and Greg, a well-to-do couple
living in what looks like a million-dollar home. Maybe it's class envy,
but I found their story the least sympathetic. They're planning an exciting,
"larger than life" ceremony, complete with bagpipes, Broadway
singers, and catering by a fabulous celebrity chef for 250 of their closest
friends. Ugh. Even Trista and Ryan weren't that bad.
Is this DVD for you? Well, it might be,
if you have the reality gene. These couples are taking a fascinating journey
at an interesting point in time: when gay marriage seemed possible, but
before civil unions in Vermont, or later developments in San Francisco
and Massachusetts. They are pioneers in the landscape of love, figuring
out how to make a public commitment before the public was even thinking
of how they'd respond.
Still, there's no denying that watching
couples, even same sex couples, develop guest lists, find sites, pick
out wedding outfits and plan the catering might be the definition of tedium
for some people. And, trust me, there's a lot of attention to detail in
Gay Weddings. You'll need to like that kind
of stuff.
You'll also need a lot of time. As I write
this, I am only a third of a way through the more than five hours of materials
on the two DVD set. But, I can't wait to see the rest. I can't help it
– it's in my genes.
Scott Sherman watches reality TV at home in Richmond while his husband
is on the road.