Lavender Lizzie
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Lavender
Lizzie |
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Dear Lavender
Lizzie,
What is it about lesbians and Subarus? I
don't think a pride sticker is part of the exterior options package yet
but that can't be far off!
Signed,
Do I have to get one?
Dear Do
I have to,
It depends on whether or not you wish to
be perceived as a real lesbian. If so, then the answer is yes, you do
have to get one. There is such a thing as proper etiquette, even in the
lesbian culture. And just as one wouldn't show up for a formal dinner
party in one's pajamas, one wouldn't show up at a lesbian event in, say,
a Chrysler.
Now, there is a hardy group of lesbians
who have managed to wrest some changes in lesbian culture by showing up
in trucks. For the formal dance, one still has to use the Subaru.
By the way, it will have to be an Outback
or a Forester. Unless you plan to arrive, as Lizzie always does, in a
horse-drawn carriage, it simply wouldn't do for a lesbian to drive a sedan.
Lovingly,
Lavender Lizzie
Dear Lavender
Lizzie,
Being androgynous has always been fine with
me – 'til now. I want to go to butch-femme socials, but I don't
know whether to wear my boots or my Birkenstocks.
I have always seen myself as somewhat of
a tomboi, and I think I have that reputation; but compared to the "bois"
I know, I am femme. I always wear jeans and T-shirts, adorned with neither
a heavy-chained wallet nor pretty graphics. I am soft and reflective,
and I hate violence and intense competition. But I also love carpentry
and enjoy the feeling of my own power. In the streets, as in the sheets,
I tend to be a bit more butch I think... but I also love being treated
gently and somewhat protected by a stronger butch.
So... do I have to stay home from the ball?
Signed,
Betwixted
Dear Betwixted,
Let's see, did the rules change somewhere
in Lesbian Culture? Was there something in the announcement that said
that you can only go to Butch-Femme socials if your gender presentation
was fixed into eternity? If so, then I'm afraid, my dear, that you will
have to stay home. It simply sounds as if you are in too much flux to
be allowed to participate!
If, however, the social is intended (as
Miss Lizzie suspects it is) as a fun event in which ladies can play with
gender roles, then, by all means, go and enjoy yourself. As to whether
to wear boots or Birken-stocks, I can assure you that under no circumstances
may Birkenstocks be worn. Why would any self-respecting femme select a
comfortable, reasonable shoe when a stiletto heel is available? The very
fact that you can't decide between Birks and Boots indicates that you
are definitely on the Butch end of things. Wear your carpenter pants,
dear. Have a tool or two hanging from the belt. You have NO IDEA how sexy
it is for a femme to see a lady with a hammer hanging by her side. Especially
on the dance floor...
Enjoy!
Lovingly,
Lavender Lizzie
Lavender Lizzie has been lovely for over a century. Born and bred
in the Victorian Era, she has brought her sage and genteel perspective
to the lovelorn for decades. Write her with your 'queeries' at lavenderlizzie@
lavenderlips.com