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Who's Your Mama?
Gay Men Run For VT House and Senate
Who's Your Mama?
Vermont Custody Case Tests Virginia's
Anti-Gay Law
by Cynthia Potts
"We'd
met through mutual friends," said Janet Miller-Jenkins, of her former
partner, Lisa. "We started dating. Fell in love."
"Even at the beginning, we both had a great love for children. Lisa
was working as a nanny, while I was an accountant. We talked about opening
a preschool, something that had been a dream for both of us."
A preschool wasn't the only dream
the couple shared. "We both wanted children," Janet asserted.
"We had a five year plan." Initially, the couple explored adoption.
Living in Virginia made this difficult. "They wanted us to lie about
our orientations," Janet explained. "And Lisa wanted to go through
the pregnancy experience."
The couple moved to Vermont, and entered
into a civil union. "It was a conscious decision that we were going
to have a family, and that we were going to have our family in a committed
relationship."
After consultations with several
doctors, it was decided that Lisa would be the birth mother of an artificially
inseminated child. "She is five years younger than me, which was
a major consideration." Several expensive procedures later, Lisa
was pregnant. Baby Isabella was born in 2002.
"We'd had a very hard pregnancy.
Lisa was on bed rest for a while, which was very difficult for her."
Nevertheless, the couple desired another
child, and went through another round of insemination. Lisa became pregnant
upon the first try.
"We were elated!" Janet
explained. "No one gets pregnant by artificial insemination quickly,
and here we were on the first try." Two weeks later, tragedy struck,
and Lisa miscarried the baby.
Sorrows never travel alone. "She froze up
after that," Janet explained. "She wouldn't talk to me, nothing."
Janet suggested professional help, but Lisa had another idea. She took
Isabella, and moved back to Virginia.
Prior to moving to Virginia, Lisa filed
dissolution papers in Vermont, effectively ending the Civil Union. In
these papers, Isabella is identified as the natural child of both women
– as would be any child born into a Civil Union.
But now Lisa is filing for sole custody,
asserting that Janet has no claim upon Isabella.
"She wanted me to have a DNA
test done, which is ridiculous. Obviously Isabella doesn't have my DNA.
But I am still her mother," Janet said.
Vermont court granted a temporary
order giving custody to Lisa, with Janet to be allowed visitation with
Isabella. Lisa has steadfastly refused Janet any contact with her daughter.
In response, Janet's counsel has filed an order requesting a transfer
of custody, as Lisa is in contempt of the Vermont court order.
Normally, the courts in one state honor
any custody decisions rendered in another state. This is part of the full
faith and credit clause - a legal tenet that our entire judiciary system
is based upon.
But Lisa - who has 'renounced' lesbianism and sought shelter within a
fundamentalist Baptist church - has gone back to Virginia. One of the
least gay-friendly states in the Union, the Virginia legislature recently
passed legislation barring the state from recognizing any law that confers
the benefits of marriage upon a same-sex couple. Janet and Lisa's custody
struggle falls directly within this arena.
On August 13, a Virginia court was
to decide who has jurisdiction over baby Isabella. However, any decision
was postponed for at least another week while the judge reviews the case
paperwork. How will he decide? No one knows. Legal experts in Vermont
and Virginia have been cautious about sharing any opinions, at least until
matters of jurisdiction have been settled.
Legal questions have become even cloudier,
as Lisa has undergone several changes of counsel. Some previous counsel
are being brought back to the case to clarify whether Lisa did or did
not acknowledge Janet's parental rights.
Clearly, if this were a case concerning
a child born into a heterosexual relationship, there would be no controversy.
The Vermont court's decision would stand, and a parent found to be in
contempt of a custody order would almost certainly lose custody.
However, Janet and Lisa aren't a heterosexual
couple. Forces aligning themselves on both sides of the gay marriage debate
are lining up to throw support to either Janet (Lambda Legal, GLADD) or
Lisa (Center for American Cultural Renewal). This has become a battle
about equal rights and cultural values - and in the middle of it all is
one tiny, confused two-year-old girl.
"She hasn't seen her MaMa in months,"
Janet said, stifling tears. "One day we were all together, and the
next, she was gone. I was there when she was born, helping to pull her
out and cut the cord. I've been part of her life even before she was born.
That love is never going to stop, certainly not now."
Lisa Miller-Jenkins and her representatives
refused to be interviewed for this story. We will be covering further
developments as they arise.
Cynthia Potts is a freelance writer living with her family and an
ever-increasing menagerie of pets in Plattsburgh.