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Thanksgiving Traditions
Thanksgiving Traditions
by Katie Dyer
This
summer I went to my first gay wedding, marking the progressive change
occurring in the tradition of marriage. With Thanksgiving approaching
I began thinking about the traditions followed on this holiday. How do
people decide which traditions to continue, and which to let go of in
order to make room for new ones? Who do people spend the holiday with,
their family of origin, or their family of choice?
Traditionally, I spend the holiday with
my family of origin. Like clockwork my mom makes a green bean casserole
just like her mom used to make on Thanksgiving. We have squash with maple
syrup, potatoes from the garden, turkey, and homemade stuffing with sausage
(a dish I sorely missed during my vegetarian years). My brother makes
the cranberry sauce, sitting propped up on a stool in front of the stove
stirring and stirring until the last berry pops and the sugar has thickened.
We don't usually eat breakfast, but we make appetizers of olives, pickles,
deviled eggs, celery sticks filled with cream cheese, and Chex party mix.
We get out my grandmother's fancy punch bowl and the matching cups to
go along with it. Our traditions are based around the food we eat.
About five years ago, my sister had her
first baby, and she stopped coming over to our house for turkey dinner.
She began spending the holiday with her husband's family. Initially this
change was hard for me to take. I missed her presence and was not comfortable
with this break in our tradition. I wanted her to be cooking, to fill
her plate, and to lay down with us on the couch after dinner, overstuffed
from too much food. I also understood that she had another family to share
her time with. Now five years and two kids later, their family comes over
after dinner. We enjoy slices of pumpkin, chocolate cream, and apple pie.
My sister is there to laugh alongside me when my brother gets out of control
with the whipped cream and he piles a huge spiral on top of his plate.
As I'm getting older, it has become increasingly
important to me to acknowledge my family base within my community. For
the first time, I am thinking about having a Thanksgiving with my friends
in addition to my traditional Thanksgiving with my family of origin. My
girlfriend goes down to New York City to spend the holiday with her family,
and at this point in our lives it feels odd to not celebrate the holiday
together. I can feel my old traditions stretching to fit my current needs,
and ultimately falling short. Perhaps it's time for a change, and what
that change will look like, I still don't know.
I wanted to find out other folks' thoughts
on this topic so I asked a few Burlingtonians about their Thanksgiving
traditions.
John Pilcher, a gay mid-twenty-year-old,
will be having Thanksgiving with his family of origin. For him, one shift
in tradition occurs with his family composition. His parents were recently
divorced, so this year he will spend the day with his mom and her new
boyfriend. John remarked that it's important to him and his mother that
they spend the holiday together. His mom even suggested that they have
Thanksgiving without her new boyfriend, but John is supportive of his
mom's new relationship, and as such, is open to the change in tradition.
One thing remains the same as always: he is still looking forward to cooking
cranberry chutney. This dish is more about the smell that fills the air
than the actual product, which usually is too tart to eat. John will most
certainly uphold his ten-year tradition of eating lasagna for his meat-free
Thanksgiving.
Jill Hoppenjans, 30 years old, currently
spends the holiday with her partner's parents, who keep a kosher Thanksgiving.
Traditionally she makes her own butter for the occasion, but in a kosher
meal you do not have dairy and meat in the same meal. As a result, she
has let her butter-making tradition go. A tradition she keeps intact,
however, is a paper-plate turkey decoration that her little brother made
in school many years ago. On the plate is a poem that Jill knows by heart.
She recited it for me on the phone:
For biscuits high, for pumpkin pie,
For turkey stuffed with dressing,
For corn and peas, for all of these,
We ask dear God, your blessing.
For whatever you end up doing this Thanksgiving
Day, be it keeping old traditions, or creating new ones that better suit
your current needs, I wish you a happy and healthy holiday.
Katie Dyer works is a baker at Great Harvest Bakery, works for COTS,
and writes from the Burlington apartment she shares with her partner.