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Yes, She Is
Yes, She Is
by Kathleen Debold
The
phone was ringing when I walked into my house. I had barely said "Hello"
when the voice started screaming. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Are you
watching this?" "Watching what?" "The T.V.!! Oh my
God, don't you have it on?"
Visions of 9/11 exploded in my head
as I scrambled for the remote. "Hurry up, hurry up," the voice
implored, "Channel 9!" My fumbling fingers punched in the number.
And there was Melissa Etheridge, bald, beautiful, and singing the hell
out of Janis Joplin's "Piece of My Heart."
Despite my best efforts to butch
it out, my eyes filled up as the rock icon shared her vulnerability and
strength with all lesbians who, like her, are living with cancer. But
these weren't just tears of joy for one woman's selfless act. The day
before I had been to a memorial service for yet another a dear friend
who died from cancer. I cried for her and her partner of 25 years –
and for all those we have lost to this devastating disease.
Melissa Etheridge's appearance at
the 2005 Grammies was a revolutionary moment in lesbian health. In the
flash of a paparazzo's camera, Melissa and her partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels,
accomplished what lesbian health activists have been trying to do for
decades: Get the mainstream media to say the words "lesbian"
and "cancer" in the same sentence, and get lesbians to focus
on an issue of tremendous importance to their own health and well being.
What little research there is shows
that Lesbians may be at higher risks for certain types of cancer. Lesbians
also face serious barriers to receiving cancer screening and care because
of real and perceived discrimination based on their sexual orientation
or gender expression. These barriers include less access to health insurance
(lesbians can't get married and very few workplaces offer domestic partnership
benefits), lack of lesbian-focused health education programs, and heterosexism/homophobia
among health care providers and their staffs. As a result, lesbians often
don't get diagnosed until their cancer is more advanced. Melissa Etheridge
is helping to change all that.
Since the Grammies, my e-mail has been filled
with messages from women for whom, as one wrote, "Melissa just opened
a huge closet door in my life." The comments range from deeply poignant
("I just wish Linda could have been here to see it with me. She loved
Melissa so much") to fiercely empowered ("I'm not wearing my
wig to work today – Bald is beautiful!") Even more wonderful
was the number of calls and emails asking for information about cancer.
Asking for referrals to lesbian-friendly doctors. Asking how they could
help lesbians with cancer. All because Melissa Etheridge had the courage
to say, "Yes, I am." Yes, she is a lesbian. And, yes, she is
a lesbian with cancer.
What words can describe someone who has
impacted lesbian health as much as Melissa has? Hero? Role model? Inspiration?
Yes, she is.
Kathleen DeBold is the Executive Director of the Mautner Project, the national lesbian health organization (www.mautner.org)