Queer Sex, Straight Talk
|
Queer
Sex, Straight Talk |
by Peter Jacobsen
At age 13, I told my dad I was gay,
to some tears and anxiety. At 18, I let him know my mohawk-wearin' boyfriend
would be my prom date, provoking nary a reaction. At age 20, I mentioned
that for the long-term I might not be looking for a monogamous relationship,
that maybe one partner wasn't quite enough, to which my dad replied he
had pretty well picked up on that already.
Two years later, realizing I wasn't really
the butchest boy on the block, I shared that the way I wore my gender
seemed a little arbitrary, and that I was exploring how to express myself
honestly and comfortably. This line of discussion – hardly a shocker,
really – caught him off guard. I'm still figuring myself out, and
he's still talking circuitously around the day I came out as not-strictly-guy.
To this day I grapple with why gender would be so domineering a concept
as to cause anxiety in those we turn to for love and respect. How come
our society's broader conversations about gender seem to progress so slowly?
As Vermont considers adding gender
identity to its non-discrimination law, I've been focusing on how Vermont
provides, or doesn’t provide, comprehensive HIV prevention to transpeople.
These opportunities and barriers, systemic or otherwise, to effecting
real change might be summarized briefly as follows:
* Many decision-makers lack the information, or even the language, needed
to wholeheartedly incorporate transpeople into larger health promotion
programs.
* Transphobia has been demonstrated to dramatically increase HIV risks,
including transphobia from within and without the queer community. Transphobia,
which for many serves to alienate, isolate, and stigmatize, may lead to
an increase in other social pressures, including poverty, substance abuse,
or unemployment.
* Word of mouth about which medical providers and social service organizations
provide trans-friendly service spreads slowly, and it's challenging (though
not impossible) to provide helpful resources when we're not sure where
there might be service gaps, or where providers might be unknowledgeable
or even hostile.
* Safer sex materials aren't always designed with transpeople's bodies
in mind. Condom manufacturers, for instance, don't seem to design barriers
for a variety of bodies having all sorts of fun sex: they're pretty well
focused on penises.
* For transpeople anxious about partners' perceptions of genitalia or
bodies generally, urging safer sex can be challenging, especially if appropriate
barriers aren't readily available.
* Needle exchanges need to be sure they will readily accept syringes from
people who may use them for hormones or silicone.
* Lastly, rates of HIV infection among transpeople nationwide are higher
than average. According to the Surgeon General, rates may be between 14
and 69 percent in certain groups, though it's worth noting that many of
the studies referred to are surveys of sex workers who are at increased
risk regardless of gender identity. In some cities, HIV infection rates
may be as high as one in four among transpeople, 90 times higher than
the national infection rate of 0.3 percent.
A world discouraging nuanced conversations
about gender would compound HIV risks exponentially. But fortunately,
in Vermont we're having significant conversations about gender, and as
a result HIV prevention can better provide comprehensive, compassionate,
effective services.
I've attended a handful of conferences and
workshops discussing positive health for transpeople, all of which have
offered great solutions to the challenges listed above. From new solutions
for barrier use and production to designing comprehensive research and
needs assessments within trans communities, the messages are consistent.
One recurring theme: communication is key. Our medical providers, legislators,
bus drivers, social service organizations, and police officers will
learn how to work with all of us given time, diligence, and thoughtful
education. If you're uncomfortable having those conversations, ask a friend
or neighbor to advocate on your behalf. Or ask Outright Vermont or R.U.1.2?
Queer Community Center or Vermont CARES or the Vermont Diversity Health
Project or Equality Vermont.
Furthermore, for all the "bad news"
published by the CDC and other health authorities, you should know there’s
great news out there too. For instance, formal and informal studies show
that sex drive increases as people begin taking hormones (estrogens and
testosterone), sexual fluidity lends itself more easily to satisfying
sex, and people more comfortable with their gender identity are more likely
to have long-term relationships and better sex (see www.trans-health.com
for more information).
Whenever you begin analyzing your gender,
and whatever identity or expression feels most like you, please know that
one of the many things we all deserve is access to appropriate healthcare
and HIV prevention. Know also that there are people who are ready and
able to support you, throughout Vermont.
Peter Jacobsen is Vermont CARES' Prevention Director and volunteers time
for the Vermont Diversity Health Project. He can be reached at peter@vtcares.org