Tongue in Cheek
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Tongue in Cheek Yes, We Have No Bananas (Part 2) |
by Kevin Isom
The
last time I titled a column "Yes, We No Bananas", I was writing
about a nutcase by the name of Andrew Cunanan, the "gay spree killer"
who infamously murdered Gianni Versace.
Now I'm doing it again, and – is it
coincidence? – the name of the nutcase in question almost rhymes.
The latest embarrassment to all of gaydom is one Jeff Gannon, whom, if
you've read the newspapers beyond the front page, or have listened to
Air America Radio, you've heard about by now.
You see, Gannon represented a conservative "news bureau" (Talon
News, a web site operated by a wealthy Texas Republican) at the White
House press corps and lobbed softball questions at President Bush and
his press secretary – while lobbing anti-gay articles at the rest
of us.
The trick was – and I use that term
intentionally – he is or was also allegedly a gay male prostitute
with semi-nude and nude photos on the internet and either is or was the
owner of or contributor to (depending on which story you believe) websites
like hotmilitarystud.com, militaryescortsM4M.com, workingboys.net, and
militaryescorts.com.
And Gannon's not even his real name. It's
James Guckert. We think.
For two years, "Jeff Gannon" was
a member of the White House press corps, and during that time he mocked
John Kerry's "pro-homosexual platform" with the headline "Kerry
Could Become First Gay President." Apparently, unlike other members
of the media that the Bush administration paid outright for consulting
services, Gannon was willing to give away for free what he (allegedly)
charged for on the internet (at rates of up to $1200 a weekend, according
to some reports).
In fact, at a news conference in January,
Gannon asked President Bush how he could work with Democrats "who
seem to have divorced themselves from reality" (a bend-over question
if ever there was one). It made me wonder just how strong a grip on reality
Gannon himself might have. After all, this administration swept into office,
in part, by working up anti-gay sentiment from the so-called "moral
values" crowd. If Gannon is gay, one would think that might be a
little bit of a conflict.
The weird thing is that I've actually looked
at some of the photos alleged to be Gannon on the web (and yes, the face
looks like the person in the press conference videos and there are no
tell-tale signs of alteration). And he's actually pretty sexy. When that
thought occurred to me, I wanted to slap myself. How could I actually
think titillating thoughts about a guy who's apparently been buttering
his bread on both sides?
On the one hand, he's (allegedly) making
money for gay sex stud services, while on the other he's earning a living
from pandering to homophobes. Could I not at least have found him unattractive?
But that's the thing with the Gannons and
the Cunanans (see, it almost rhymes) of the world. If they were weird
or unattractive, they wouldn't be able to get to places where they could
do the damage they do.
It's been almost sad to listen to liberal
talk radio trip all over themselves noting that "It's not about the
fact that he's gay" and instead that it's about credibility, security
(was there no background check?), and blatant propaganda. No, it IS partly
about the fact that he's (allegedly) gay. As a gay person, Gannon's work
(not the alleged escort work – from a libertarian perspective, I
think prostitution should be safe, legal, and regulated) was actually
anti-gay. It's no different than a Jew writing Nazi propaganda, or a black
person writing KKK manifestos. It's incomprehensible, and it's just plain
wrong.
And he brings up all those old cliched anti-gay
notions of "He could have been blackmailed if someone knew about
his double life, so he was a security risk!" – notions that
the liberals find themselves in the awkward position of repeating (which
I wish they'd stop). As an added bonus, Gannon becomes a case in point
to the religious right of what bad things homosexuals do.
But on some level, as with Cunanan, the
Gannon case shows just how much like the straight world we are: we got
bananas, too.
Kevin Isom is the author of It Only Hurts When I Polka and Tongue in Cheek and Other Places, available at bookstores and online. He may be reached at isomonline@aol.com or www.KevinIsom.com