Arts
Quick Takes on Two Books
Quick Takes on Two Queer Books
by Elizabeth A. Allen
Is
It a Choice? |
Do
you wish that you had a witty comeback for that relative who asked you
over holiday dinner, "So... how long is this 'gay phase' supposed
to last?" Are your siblings still bringing up questions about your
sexuality that you thought you had explained several years ago? Or are
you yourself looking for a collection of lgbtq resources just for your
own information and peace of mind?
In that case, it'’s
a good thing that Eric Marcus's 1993 classic, Is It a Choice? Answers
to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People,
has come out (pun intended) again, heavily revised and with a new introduction.
Over 12 years, two previous editions, 75,000 copies and multiple languages,
Is It a Choice? has acted as a primer for queers, their allies
and anyone who has ever wondered about glbtq people. Now updated to contain
information about gay marriage, religion and gay people, and the most
recent advocacy and information groups, Marcus' book is ready to educate
a new generation.
Marcus notes in his introduction
that he's "chosen to stick pretty much to the broad middle of lesbian
and gay life." So, if you're trying to explain transgendered identities
or BDSM culture to others, you'll want to look elsewhere in books that
specifically address those topics. What you've got here is a basic guide
to such inquiries as "What is a homosexual?," "What do
gay people do on a date?" and, of course, the burning question of
the decade: "Do all lesbians own Subarus?" (The answer to the
last one is a resounding no. I came out about eight years ago, and I still
haven't received my congratulatory car.)
On topics like coming out, parents
of gay kids, religion and more, Marcus provides simple, factual answers.
For example, about gay dating, he writes, "What gay people do on
a date varies as much as what heterosexual people do on dates." Emphasizing
the common humanity of all people no matter what their sexuality, Marcus
models a calm, accepting attitude that may be especially helpful to, say,
anxious parents or close friends. Even on subjects as touchy as queer
sexuality and faith – "The only thing that many religions agree
on about homosexuality is that they don't agree" – Marcus keeps
a cool head, presenting information in an orderly manner and leavening
it with welcome humor. His all-around patience and reasonable tone make
Is It a Choice? accessible and informative. While the 2005 gift-giving
season is over, I still recommend stocking up on a few copies of this
book and handing them out when necessary to combat confusion and ignorance.
Hitched! |
"Yahoooo! They're doing it before
we are! How did that happen?"
When I read in the Boston
Globe that queer couples in San Francisco were getting civil marriage
licenses on February 12, 2004, over three months before gay marriage could
actually start in my home state of Massachusetts, those were my first
words. And I wondered if I had missed something. Had marriage suddenly
become legal in California?
The answer, of course, was no.
Despite the state’s anti-queer-marriage DOMA, San Francisco town
clerks were, at the direction of mayor Gavin Newsom, issuing marriage
licenses to queer couples. The event started when Phyllis Lyon and Del
Martin decided, with their lawyer's help, to quietly challenge the bias
in the DOMA by getting married after 51 years together.
Word spread rapidly, though, and the
Lyon/Martin single action of protest became the catalyst for almost a
month of marry-making and merry-making. Before the California Supreme
Court stopped the weddings, over 4,000 gay and lesbian couples from around
the world had gotten hitched. Despite long lines, bureaucratic drama and
protests, thousands upon thousands of queers and volunteers transcended
civil disobedience and proved nothing less than the power of love.
If you're like me, you probably
danced around happily at the news, but you may have not had more than
a general sense of community with those involved. Now, with Cheryl Dumesnil's
Hitched!, you can hear their stories firsthand.
Culled from interviews and narratives
that newlyweds wrote themselves, Dumesnil's book collects 50 wedding stories
of all types: from the celebrity celebration of Rosie O'Donnell and her
partner to that of Moonyean and Lakke, with Lakke's service dog, a black
Lab, as an attendant. Some stories focus on the triumphs and tragedies
of relationships leading up to the big day, while others document the
generosity of impromptu volunteers who made the weddings possible.
The diverse stories share a
common element besides the sexual orientation of the participants. Every
single couple in Hitched! is full of joy... no, make that ecstasy.
The book radiates so much pure happiness that it's almost overwhelming.
If you're currently disappointed by the state of queer rights in this
country, or if someone you know doesn’t believe that queers can
be happy, bring out Hitched! Along with Is It a Choice?,
Hitched! makes a strong, elemental statement in favor of our
common humanity, no matter what our sexual preference.
E.A. Allen celebrates marriage equality and reviews books in Boston,
Massachusetts.