Tongue in Cheek
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Tongue in Cheek Ophelia Emboldened |
by Kevin Isom
It
was like I was living A Charlie Brown Christmas, only I wasn't choosing
the scraggliest, littlest Christmas tree — I was adding to our family.
With the move to a house with an enclosed
yard, I thought it was time to add a dog to our mix. Besides, the two
cats had been asking for a pet for the past several Christmases, and I
thought it was time that they got their wish.
I had to sell this to my partner first,
but I planned the negotiation well. I looked at dog shelters and rescue
societies on the internet. Did you know that some of them actually post
animals' photos beside captions like, "Endangered! Snowball's Last
Day Alive is Friday"? I printed a couple of those and showed them
to Derek over dinner. It was so horrific he actually teared up. The negotiation
was over before it started.
So we set out one Saturday to visit
rescue societies holding adoptions at pet stores. At the first one,
we didn't bond with any animals, and that is the most important part of
choosing a new family member — they choose you, and not vice versa.
At the second one, we saw a beautiful Papillon mix, a bold Labrador mix,
and then, in the last cage, a mal-nourished, skin-and-bones little black
and white Jack Russell Terrier and Chihuahua mix. Half her neck and chest
fur was gone, and her broken front leg was in a cast.
She saw us coming. The rescue
volunteers had taken pity on her and painted her cast a bright yellow,
and her nails on the other three paws to match. She wagged her tail and
tried to hop around as cutely as she could with her cast, never barking
at all, and I was hooked. The volunteers explained she had been abused
and abandoned. When they found her she had been hit by a car. And she
was wearing a puppy collar too tight for a grown dog, which had rubbed
off her neck fur.
We looked at the other dogs
again, as I looked over my shoulder at the yellow cast. Then I insisted
that we take her out of her cage, despite Derek's protests that we couldn't
take care of a special needs animal — we just didn't have the time.
The volunteers took her out, and Derek held her for the first time. She
put her head on his shoulder, and she let out a long sigh.
That was that. I filled out the adoption
papers while Derek sat with her. The volunteers were thrilled that
she was being adopted by two daddies who would probably treat her like
a princess. And we proved them right, as we went around the store
picking out the absolute necessities — like sensitive skin food,
toys, treats, the faux-fur lined doggie bed, and the black leather rhinestone
collar (for when her neck healed, of course). When we chose the rhinestone
collar, I looked at Derek and said, "You do realize how stereotypical
this is, don't you?" He held it up to her scrawny neck and replied,
"But look how good it will look on her! And she deserves it!" I
tossed the collar into the cart.
I wondered, as we left with our new
family member, if I was drawn to her because of her needs, or if it was
more because she was making the most of a tough situation and being the
best-est, cutest dog she could be. Maybe as a gay person, I was more sensitive
to that. We've got odds to overcome, too.
Or maybe I saw potential in her, and
I just wasn't going to overlook the scraggliest little Christmas tree.
In any case, she's found her new home now,
the cast is off, and her leg is fine, though she will always favor it
a little. Her fur is slowly covering her bright pink skin again, and the
cats are getting used to this strange waggy thing in their midst.
She's even recovered her voice, and when
someone rings the doorbell, she takes her duty to protect her new home
seriously. She barks for a few seconds, and she stands by, keeping her
front leg raised slightly, lest she need to jump in to protect us.
Then Ophelia — she had to have a royal
name, and we figured that this Ophelia would have a much happier end than
that of Hamlet's — returns to her faux-fur bed, curls up, and sighs.
Kevin Isom is the author of It Only Hurts When I Polka and Tongue in Cheek and Other Places, available at bookstores and online. He may be reached at isomonline@aol.com or www.KevinIsom.com