Letters to the Editor
Clergy
Requirements: Yes or No?
In "Moving Marriage Forward,"
March 11, you state, "The bill, which would adjust Vermont's marriage
law to be gender neutral, also makes it clear that no clergy would be
required to sanction any same-sex marriage." This is followed by
a quote from Beth Robinson, who says, "We really are saying churches
are free to do as they choose to do."
I can't help but wonder, is clergy required
to sanction mixed-sex marriages?
Bill DuBay
Seattle, WA
Dear Bill:
Thanks for your question. Clergy are not
required to sanction
mixed-sex marriage, and the bill pending in the Vermont Legislature
makes it clear that same-sex marriages are no different. The suggestion
that eliminating the discrimination in civil marriage would or could impinge
upon the rights of clergy who oppose marriage equality is simply false.
Beth Robinson
Langrock Sperry & Wool, LLP
Middlebury, VT
Being Out
"To live is so startling it leaves
little time for anything else."
— Emily Dickinson
Just when I think I’ve got some things figured out, something comes
along to challenge my position. I thought I was pretty comfortable with
my lesbian identity. I thought that working that out was old hat; the
agonies of figuring it out and coming out was all in the past. In Brattleboro,
where I live, I’m known as a Lesbian poet. I was out to everyone
at the AIDS Project where I worked for many years. All my friends, both
homo and hetero know I’m lesbian. I thought that what was once the
burning central issue in my life, was now only one thing about a complex
being known as me.
Then I stumbled upon a book called “Never
a Dull Moment: Teaching and the Art of Performance” by Jyl Lynn
Felman. In one of the classes Ms. Felman teaches called “Harmonies
and Tensions, a Course on Blacks and Jews,” a participant talks
about the Star of David she always wore around her neck. She told the
class how, “depending on the context - whether or not she felt safe
as a Jew - she tucks her Jewish star inside her clothes... or tucks it
out.” This took my breath away. Suddenly I was thinking of the pink
triangle I own. I don’t wear it all the time. Could it be I only
wear it where I feel safe as a lesbian? And, if so, where was that? Definitely
at poetry readings where I can expect a primarily lesbian turnout. Certainly
at AIDS events such as World AIDS Day. Absolutely while participating
in a Pride March.
But I don't wear it to events out of state
that are not GLBTQ friendly. I had to face the truth. I don’t feel
safe as an out lesbian everywhere in this country. I can see that the
filtering down from the fight for civil rights via marriage has penetrated
my unconscious. I am aware, how could I not be, of the many people who
simply hate us. This is obvious at any open forum that includes gay issues.
Most people are passionate, but polite whichever side of the issues they
believe in. But there are those far right people who rant and rave and
condemn us all to hell. As a rational being, I have been able to ignore
this knowing from whence it came. But psychologically, it
has made me feel vulnerable and endangered. Within me is a woman who feels
it necessary to look over her shoulder on dark nights, to be careful where
she states her views in unknown places, to seek out allies and like-minded
people in order to stand tall.
I was with a group of women, all over 60
years old, this weekend. I asked them when and if they ever wore the pink
triangle. A woman who lived in Montpelier and attended the open meetings
around civil unions said most of those who testified were dignified and
respectful, but there were a handful full of hatred. There are still some
Take Back Vermont signs around today. This obviously was a source of wonder
and fear. Another talked of being careful not to self-identify while hiking
the Appalachian Trail, because of the two women who had been killed while
hiking it. Another talked of feeling uneasy while touring the southern
states. One younger friend talked of wearing a DYKE sign, and wearing
it everywhere to face up to her fears. All worried about the constant
attack by right-wing Christians and the Catholic Church.
Thinking about this has made me aware
that we who identify as gay publicly have a special joy in speaking up
and being visible. But I’m wondering about the psychological price.
Those who choose to
speak up and speak out, our heroes, need a place to share the emotions,
both good and bad, that are evoked by it. It’s a dialogue we need
to include in all our gatherings. We certainly know what it has been like
to beinvisible. Now we need to keep talking about what it means to be
visible.
Lynn Martin
Brattleboro
At Witt's End by Leah Wittenberg
