by Bennett Law

      Don’t get your hopes up - the name is somewhat misleading. There is exactly one kiss, and no banging whatsoever. But it’s a fizzy film long on atmospherics, with a high cool quotient and featuring a palpable attraction between two attractive men. Those two men are portrayed by Val Kilmer and Robert Downey, Jr., whose combined talent and sex appeal pretty much ensure that the picture will more than hold your attention.
      Kilmer is looking rather well fed these days, but he’s working some very sexy sideburns. He gets the real movie star entrance in the film (back lit at night, parting his way through the crowd at an outdoor L.A. party). Downey has notably played gay before, in both “Less than Zero,” in which he played the gay hustler Julian, and in the wonderful “The Wonder Boys,” in which he bedded Spiderman - ah, Toby Maguire.
      Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a convoluted hipster relationship movie/LA noir mystery. The relationship more than overwhelms the mystery. Shane Black has written and directed the movie with absolutely no concern for the credibility of the situations or the mystery inherent to the plot. His lack of attentiveness to the plot similarly frees you to focus on the easy rapport and physical comfort Kilmer and Downey bring to their roles.
     Val Kilmer plays Gay Perry, a private dick (which, alas, remains private in this movie). Perry, the private investigator, is gay, but apparently because it is beyond cool to have a gay guy in the movie, everyone refers to him as Gay Perry. It’s great that the gay character (the one character identified as gay, anyway) is the cool, strong, decisive character. Gay Perry may have chosen “I Will Survive” as his ring tone and have a stash of the daintiest guns imaginable, but he can land a punch with the best of them.
      Downey plays a New York felon who is mistaken by casting agents looking for someone to play a hood as an unrecognized talent with a firm grasp of the criminal psyche. He is whisked away to L.A., where in preparation for a film role he is to shadow Gay Perry to get a feeling for the rhythms of the work.
     One look at Kilmer, though, and Downey quickly betrays a different kind of feeling.
      The movie is downright quaint in its depiction of contemporary Los Angeles. Kilmer and Downey are loading a dead body into the trunk of Kilmer’s car when they are interrupted by the police. To distract them, Kilmer kisses Downey rather firmly on the mouth (I noted that not only did Downey not object to this sudden change of plans, but he seemed to sort of relax into the kiss - and wouldn’t you?). We were to believe that LA cops might be so flustered at the sight of two men kissing that they would keep moving rather than investigate the arms and legs falling out of the trunk of the car.
     Even more preposterously, one dead woman’s identity (I counted three dead women) is established by the mere fact that her body was found without underwear. In a movie in which most of the women either are or could double as prostitutes, we are to believe that in L.A. only an inmate from an insane asylum would leave the house without panties (and contemplate the implications of the no panties rule at the asylum, if you will).
      There is a girl who survives in this movie. Michelle Monaghan, the new Mrs. Cruise in MI-3, stars as … well, come to think of it, I’m not sure why she is in this movie. She looks amazing, which may have been all that was asked of her. As a Hollywood actress, she’s the modern day movie archetype - her lips, eyes, and breasts seem too big for her body, and her waistline too small. The freshly ripe sexuality she brings to her role is apparently there for us to enjoy, rather than for the guys in the movie. With his determination to resist her sexual availability, Downey plays Rock Hudson to Monaghan’s Doris Day all the way. Downey only has eyes for Kilmer.
       Most of the unraveling of the mystery happens off screen (Perry periodically reports updates on the murder investigation, for those who may be trying to follow that part). But this is a movie about the chemistry between male movie stars, in much the way that Oceans 12 was about George Clooney lusting after Brad Pitt. Kilmer and Downey look to be having blast. If you can catch their jazzy
vibe, you’ll enjoy a fine time, too.
      Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a Warner Bros. film, produced by Joel Silver. It is rated R, and clocks in with a running time of 103 minutes. Additional information, including trailers, is available at kisskiss-bangbang.com

Bennett Law lives in Bethel, from where he is able to sustain a healthy appreciation for male movie stars through the combined miracles of cable and Netflix.