Views
Concern for the Union
Concern for the Union
by
Robert William Wolff
I’ll
warn readers up front that this is a call to “come out” to
your friends, family, to the world. It is the only way we will gain equal
rights. You need not read the rest of this if you accept this call and
will act on it!
This week (the first part of June), as the
U.S. Senate debated what the Republicans call the Marriage Protection
Act, I contemplated where we have come as a community since Stonewall
in 1969. There is much to celebrate. I was elated by the speeches by Senators
Kennedy and Feinstein. Other senators at least appeared to understand
that the founders of our Union didn’t want things like marriage
to be the focus of a federal government in Washington. But my contemplation
kept turning to anger, as I heard people like Senator William Frist, MD,
who wants to be President, with his stone cold unemotional face and voice,
stating and restating the need to protect (heterosexual) marriage from
lesbians and gay men who want to exercise their right to marry.
Frist’s unquestioning view that the
heterosexual citizens in the majority have the right to keep homosexual
citizens from all the rights others are provided in the U.S. Constitution
is chilling, to say the least. He and others spoke as if our ability to
marry would add to the problems of married heterosexual men and women.
And, whatever he thinks about this, what right does he or any other person
have to keep us from all the rights other U.S. citizens have?
Civil unions and state-granted marriage
like that in Massachusetts are good steps. But until the federal government
accepts us as first class citizens, with all the rights of other citizens,
it will be impossible to wipe away the queer-bashing young lesbians and
gay men face as they begin coming out to themselves, to their families,
friends, and later, to the world. Lesbian and gay youth are depressed
in greater percentages than heterosexual youth. We are more likely to
commit suicide. I kept thinking of the wonderful feeling that heterosexual
teenagers experience when they realize that some person to whom they are
sexually and emotionally attracted, could become their life partner and
companion, and that they have the possibility of being married. And then,
the pangs of discomfort and deflation young gay men and lesbians feel
when they realize that their friendships and lover relationships are dishonored
by society; that they are not allowed to partake of all the local, state
and federal benefits of marriage. I wonder why the people Senator Frist
believes he represents can’t see that to so profoundly injure somewhere
between six percent and ten percent of the American population may hurt
their own children or grandchildren, and people in general.
The defeat of the Senate motion to halt
the discussion so that members could vote on the constitutional amendment
provided me little satisfaction. We may look at this situation and lack
comprehension of why people who love the family so much wouldn’t
want to offer lesbians and gay men the option of honoring and solidifying
their relationships. But these folks see this as a war, and a war they
are destined to fight for the good of the world. It seems that they will
never grasp that the Christ they worship as the Son of God, said many
things that might have led his followers to set aside much of the Hebrew
Bible and instead pay attention to the Gospels of Mark, Luke and John.
And, they don’t grasp that their own children and their friends
may be injured by their lack of comprehension.
It seems that these people will not be deterred
by the loss of what is turning out to be a biannual battle. They either
really believe they are saving themselves and their children from a fate
worse than hell, or they are willing to act like they do in order to accomplish
political goals. They did bring the issue out to help their cause as they
get their numbers to the polls this fall when the entire U.S. House of
Representatives is up for election, and when a good many Senate seats
will be filled as well.
Yet, is there an opportunity to transform
this depressing situation? As I thought about the mess society is in over
this issue, my mind kept coming back to two key facts: First, that young
people do not agree with their parents and other elders on this issue,
and second, people who know one or more lesbians or gay men accept same-sex
marriage to a much greater degree.
Since elders will pass on and youth will
take the reigns of power in our communities and the government, the essential
action we can take is to come out to everyone. Harvey Milk, the first
U.S.-elected official who ran as an out gay male, often mused about how
good it would be if all lesbians and gay men woke one morning with purple
skin - that immediately everyone would be out. He thought great things
would come of this outing.
So, I guess I could say that my own personal
antidote for this past week has been my recollections of Harvey Milk and
his contributions to our community and to all of us - we could create
the purple through our own actions.
Robert William Wolff is a scenery and lighting designer and potter
who lives in Randolph. He is a member of the R.U.1.2? board of directors
and a volunteer at OITM.